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EDITORIAL May 24, 1999 VNN3943 See Related VNN Stories | Comment on this story Open Letter To Guru-Krsna's Wife BY PRTHA DEVI DASI EDITORIAL, May 24 (VNN) — Guru-Krsna's "open letter to my husband" certainly indicated that he thought he could gain control over me through use of my him. I never realized I was such a threat. :-) Actually this is not an open letter to his wife or to anyone. Some GHQ members have written to the husbands of women who believe in woman equality, or that woman are not their bodies and should not be treated as if they are. They discovered those husbands were not interested in the GHQ's philosophy. However, more importantly, it is harassment. Not every man want's to join the 'good 'ol boys' club Guru-Krsna das. Real gentlemen value a woman's point of view and do not become threatened if it is different from their own. The title Guru-Krsna das chose for his article was outrageous. (80-year-old man for young girl??!) If a polygamist lived next door to me with two or more wives of legal age, I might phone the police, what to speak of girls of daughters age! What happens to a young girl who marries an older man? Chances are high that he will die long before she does. She may be in her forties when he passes on. From their own philosophy that woman is to be protected all her life by man, she is now left unprotected. Since such men do not accept remarriage, except for themselves, she must remain alone the rest of her life. (This is not advocating remarriage, just making a point.) It is selfish for older men to want young girl. There is also a large generation gap which makes it more difficult to get along than they realize. She usually sees him as her father instead of husband, even if he succeeded in marrying her. Of course, in reality it is highly unlikely that a young girl will marry an old man anyway. One might argue regarding my choice of action via of the police. However, Prabhupada gave us a sufficient way to protect women. He created a brahmacarini ashrama just for this purpose. There is *absolutely* no need of polygamy in this age whatsoever. One does not need to marry a girl and have sex with her to protect her. Its totally lust. "We recommend our students not to have illicit sex. We don't stop sex, but regulate. . . . What is the difficulty? No illicit sex means don't be cats and dogs. Be married man and have one wife, one husband, and be satisfied." SP 1971 Guru-Krsna das >>>My humble request to Your Grace is that you please responsibly tend to the recent activities of your good wife, our Mother Prtha, who has made the following accusations against HG Ameyatma Prabhu in her "Aham Brahmasmi" Newsletter (#9), posted on this worldwide network VNN and beyond: Here, Guru-Krsna das use of the word *tend* is really instructing my husband to control me, the word *responsibilty* is used to indicate my husband is behaving irresponsibly, thus an insult and endeavor to publicly embarrass him. What nonsense! Guru-Krsna das is not anyone's authority to give instruction or advice. What is actually going on is that he is trying to control my husband. GHQ members do not understand the difference between Prabhupada's instructions for societal varnashrama-dharma and his instructions for transcendental Krishna Consciousness for the initiated devotee. Nor do they understand the difference between instructions for previous yugas and for this age. Therefore they misuse quotes to try to get a husband to control, thus the "good 'ol boys club." Yet in pure Krishna Consciousness Prabhupada himself did not behave in such ways. What these men are not understanding is that in this age of kali women have taken shelter of their spiritual master and are therefore not to be controlled by husband. For that matter, it has been men who have gone wild in this movement with sexual abuse, hitting of wife, breaking bones, molesting chilren and so on. (Not all men have this problem.) It is time such men should be controlled. Polygamy is simply a new strain of men going wild. They have no one to answer up to and need an authority. One wonders if preachers of male superiority are envious that a woman will not follow them to the degree she will follow Srila Prabhupada. Of course, such men do not know any other way to have a woman in their life without controlling her. Therefore on one hand, a person can have compassion for them. On the other, it is time they grow up and learn how. Their method of male dominance has only resulted in countless divorces in ISKCON along with countless woman and child abuses. It is time to stop behaivng like 13-year-old boys in 40/50-year-old male bodies. However, lets clear something up. I did not post my newsletter to VNN. Guru-Krnsa das, take it up with the devotee who did. (A friend of GHQ.) I was just as surprised as you were, as it was not my intent to go public with it to such a large degree. Aham Brahmasmi Newsletter>>* "A 50 something years old man [Ameyatma Prabhhu] asked to marry all the girls in Laksmimoni's gurukula brahmacarini ashrama." GKd >[Ameyatma Prabhu was 42 years old << I have no problem admitting that I did not know Ameyatma's exact age because exact age is not important. What I do know is that he has been a devotee as long as I have. That would make him close enough to fifty. Even if he is a bit younger, it is only a *bit* and still leaves him in the category of one that is too old to request such young girls for marriage. GKd >>when the mother of one of Mother Laxmimoni's students had once expressed to him her concern for finding a suitable husband for her daughter.<< Merely expressing a concern should not be misinterpreted as a request for Ameyatma to marry her daughter. Parents discuss these concerns with each other all the time. Such men need to get out more and associate with other devotees so they will understand what is really being asked. GKd >> By her appearance, Ameyatma Prabhu thought the daughter to be not younger than 16 (she was 14) and subsequently explained to the mother that he was willing to accept a second wife, perhaps even her daughter.]<< Sixteen, fourteen, not enough difference to make it acceptable. Girls in kali-yuga grow up slow. That should be respected. ABN >>* "What would really be nice would be to hear of any justice that is resulting due to his disgraceful behavior, or is he getting away with it?" GKd [Prabhu, there was no impropriety whatsoever; therefore the call for justice is moot.]<< On the contrary, in kali-yuga it is totally disgraceful for a man who is of the age where he could have fathered a girl to ask to marry her. ABN >>* "It is too disturbing to see him getting away with the appearance of a good devotee." GKd [Prabhu, Ameyatma Prabhu is a first-class devotee. Indeed *much too disturbing* is that his good character has been so severely besmirched by your wife.]<< First, lets quote this correctly. Here is the full statement: ABN >>"Although gurukula girls aren't children they are still unformed women, not fully adults. Maybe it now would fit in the category of some form of adult sexual abuse. Maybe a little of both. At least emotionally. I know of gurukulis who feel they can't step foot in the temple anymore because they see the face of their abuser. It is too disturbing to see him getting away with the appearance of a good devotee." It was not Ameyatma being discussed. It was previous abusers the gurukulis had to look at. To continue, sorry to disappoint you Guru-Krsna das, but it is *his wife* replying. My husband told me to respond also and does not want to get involved with GHQ men. Therefore, even from your point of view, I am following the instructions of my husband. Regarding Ameyatma as first class devotee, maybe once he was. Now that he is obsessed with polygamy and young girls or younger women, he has ruined his reputation. He didn't need me to do that. He has done it completely on his own. One can claim religious protection and *Vedic* until the cows come home, but why they do not go after the older woman who might be incompetent, homely, in need of help - but instead run after shapely young girl? We know it is not religious protection at all. ABN >>>* "Similarly, why should these girls have to look at a man in the temple every day who they know would love to sleep with them?!!!" GKd >>[Prabhu, there is not one girl presently enrolled in the "Vaisnava Academy for Girls" who was also enrolled at the time of the situation in question.<< This is irrelevant. The girls currently there are still aware of it and are uncomfortable about it. Yes, I know this for a fact. It is not about "which" girls are there. It is about an older mans desire to go after *any* young girl. However, if you are going to pretend that such thoughts of lust do not enter the mind of polygamists, I doubt anyone will believe you. I certainly do not. "After conferring with my various GBC representatives I have concluded that polygamy must be strictly prohibited in our society. Although it is a Vedic institution still there are so many legal implications. Neither are many of our men fixed up enough to tend for more than one wife. Polygamy will simply increase the sex life and our philosophy is to gradually decrease the sex life till eventually there is no sex life." SPL 1973 Prabhupada clearly states, "polygamy will simply increase the sex life" Therefore it is lust. He also very clearly points out that the men are not fixed up enough. Anyone who thinks they are now more fixed up are forgetting that kali-yuga progresses downhill. Stick with the basics: one wife, 16 rounds, all four of the regulative principles, not three and a half. GKd >>Furthermore, it is simply outrageous to suggest that Ameyatma Prabhu wanted to enjoy illicitly with even ONE, what to speak of ALL, of these students.]<< I received information from a parent of a girl who lives in the ashrama that Ameyatama requested to marry ALL ashrama girls. When spoken to a second time he still insisted that Ameyatma did indeed request all the girls. He was informed of this by an authority. Stop hiding the truth. It will leak out anyway. Besides, if polygamists honestly believe what they are doing is right they would not be hiding such information. On some level they know it is wrong or they wouldn't conceal it in the first place. I never used the word illicit. However, since you brought it up, in kali-yuga polygamy *IS* illicit because no man is qualified. That lack of qualification increases when the females approached are too young. It is an illusion to think a man will take on more than one wife and not enjoy her. It is deeper illusion to pretend a man is not having such thoughts even from the beginning point of asking if he can marry her. Especially when he already has a wife. Never satisfied. Such men have the enjoyment mentality. "My dear Narottamananda das, Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letter dated July 4, 1975, and have noted the contents. Regarding your taking a second wife, you cannot do this. At least you cannot stay in our temple in Vrndaban. If you want to take a second wife, then you have to leave our Vrndaban temple. Whether you can maintain them and take some job and earn? Our temples cannot support you and your two wives. You will want three, four and more. Anyway, as an American it is illegal for you to do this. We are trying to minimize sex and you are trying to increase. Please give up this idea." ABN >>* "This man is ruining his entire reputation because of it and doesn't even take care of the wife he has." GKd >>[Prabhu, Mother Prtha has broadcast incredible false accusations to severely threaten the otherwise good reputation of the exemplary grhasta Ameyatma Prabhu. If "anyone is ruining his entire reputation" it would to be your wife.]<< I will tell you again what I told him in a letter: Ameyatma is the one ruining his own reputation with his polygamy obsession. It is no one else's fault. (It's a common strategy amongst potential perpetrators to blame those who reveal their activities.) I did not broadcast my newsletter to a world wide web page. A DMW woman did that. ABN >>"Either way, SA or mid-life crisis, it is an emotional problem which needs healing. Healing can't happen if it is ignored and many will suffer, not just him." GKd >>[Prabhu, is the reader supposed to accept your wife's opinion as a professional diagnosis? Does Mother Prtha bear any authority at all to make such analyses?]<< One does not have to be a professional to detect an alcoholic, a drug addict and so on. Addiction is addiction. For that matter, it is usually the women of this movement who have detected sexual abuses first and were too often ignored. Anyway, let us hope it is mid-life crisis. I can give facts from professionals regarding sexual addictions or mid-life crisis. Anyone who would like to see them, feel free to email me. Parijata2@aol.com (Except for GHQ, etc. They do not want to hear. ) ABN >>*"We have no idea what the future can result in if he is allowed to continue down this path. These girls probably see him as a dirty old man." [Prabhu, aside from the obvious speculation which follows the word "probably," Mother Prtha here again unethically implies that Ameyatma Prabhu is treading a deviant path.] << The word "probably" was used to soften the blow. Since you' have pushed it ...... we all know what young girls think of older men who lust after them. Any older man who thinks differently is fantasizing. Thank you for making my point for me. In a society where Prabhupada wants us to practice celibacy, now the deviation of polygamy is preached? "Therefore it is essential that one practice self-control by celibacy without the least desire for sex indulgence. For a man desiring to improve the condition of his existence, sex indulgence is considered suicidal or even worse." Purport, SB 2:1:1:16 ABN >>*"He cannot get well if no one speaks about this and points out how he is wrong." GKd >>[Prabhu, here again your wife speaks as if she were a clinical psychologist or qualified equivalent. Why should the reader accept her as such? Actually, she has assumed a condition that *simply does not exist*!]<< Guru-Krsna das also is not a professional and therefore cannot diagnose what does or does not exist. Since he is a polygamist and a middle-aged man himself, he is biased. Guest (2) Well, lets take the situation of an individual who is very deeply addicted to the senses, such as sexual. Prabhupada: That is only practice. There are processes by which you can give up so much addiction to sex life. There are processes. " SP lecture, SB 1968 Prabhupada himself recognizes that sex can be an addiction. Devotees don't need a PhD to figure it out. Again, anyone who would like to read what the professionals have to say on this topic, please email me. ABN >>*"He hides behind scripture to justify his maya, thinking he is as advanced as what he reads in ancient Vedic literature's..." GKd>> [Prabhu, please, by what authority does Mother Prtha claim to know the heart of Ameyatma Prabhu?]<< I never used the word *heart.* It is simply obvious by behavior and speech, what the obsession is. If one were to get out from behind their computer and go onto the streets, distribute books - an important instruction from Srila Prabhupada which is often ignored or minimized by the GHQ - such persons may get more in touch with the real world of kali-yuga and have a better understanding of what is Vedic for *this* age. ABN >>"Devotees who know something, please speak up!...Please, someone with information, write me so I may inform everyone else." GKd >>[Prabhu, I have humbly responded to this request of your good wife's above and below. And perhaps in the future she should not "shoot first" and then entreatingly ask questions later.]<< Total speculation. I did not shoot first. I waited, did some investigative work, wrote letters. Not only did I receive such information from a parent on this topic, but from another devotee as well. GKd >>The above allegations are unequivocally false, and thus the worldwide readership of VNN should know it for certain. Of course if anyone doubts this statement of ours, he may conduct his own investigation.<< Yes, an independent investigation is a good idea. Thank you for your suggestion. GKd >> But we have heard from the bona fide authorities (those who actually know the truth of this matter) that all of the above allegations are totally false.<< Really? It seems the bona fide authorities have told this parent something else. And what about the young adult gurukula girl whom he faxed a marriage request to? Will you try to claim that is a false allegation as well? GKd >>Mother Prtha, has committed Vaisnava-aparadha by slandering the good character of HG Ameyatma Prabhu<< If anyone has committed Vaisnava-aparadha it is those who are lusting after our girls and lying about it, as well as those who become angry at me for telling the truth. They simply become angry because they are caught, thus trying to point the finger in the opposite direction so no one will look at them. In Guru-Krsna dasa's effort to clear his godbrother all he has done is increase the problem. GKd >>further, we think that she is also dangerously close to offending HDG Srila Prabhupada as well.<< That is exactly my understanding of Guru-Krsna das and the entire GHQ who are twisting Prabhupada's words to accomplish some sense gratification, making offenses such as stating black man are lowborn sudra, women have no souls, those who believe in woman equality are prostitutes, women are just toys to play with, referring to the women's movement as the whore's movement, or pretending old men won't use young girls for sex. THAT is vaishnava-aparada. GKd >> (To wit, Srila Prabhupada married his wife when she was 11 years old.<< So now you think you are in the same category of Srila Prabhupada? What Prabhupada can do, we cannot do. Let us not become sahajiyas. GKd >> Therefore, Mother Prtha's "preaching"--that tender young girls between 12-16 must be protected FROM prospective suitors whose intentions are not other than to give religious protection << If this is to imply that old men are saving the girls from their prospective young suitors, that is backwards. The youth shall grow up and learn together. Such men cannot know what the intentions of suitors are, but it is clear what their own intentions are. Lust. Polygamists and older men are not giving *religious* protection to our *tender* young girls. They are lusting after their tenderness. Again, why they do not go after older woman? Let Prabhupada give protection. That is why he opened a brahmacarini ashrama, and why polygamists want to tear them down. "My Dear Satsvarupa, Regarding your various questions. First let us understand that polygamy cannot be permitted in our society. Legally it is impossible and neither are there many of our devotees who are prepared to assume the responsibility for many wives. Therefore as I have suggested previously as they do in Christian religion they have so many convent where the women stay and they receive protection. The point is that the women must be protected and it is the duties of the leaders of our society to see that this is carried out." SPL, Melbourne, 10 February, 1973 GKd >>to them via sacred marriage vows--seems blatantly contradictory to the teachings and personal example of our most beloved founder-acarya. Is it not?)<< Unfaithful men such as polygamists who cannot remain loyal to one woman should not instruct about sacred marriage vows. They try to collect a harem while they preach to women about sacred marriage vows?! Convenient double standard. In addition, these men are especially interested in *virgin* girls, while they themselves are not virgins. Yet they claim it is not lust?! Lust and arrogance, combined. One must at least ponder: if a man cannot remain loyal to one woman, how can he still remain fully loyal to his spatial master? Loyalty is a general overall quality. We practice it on each other so we can learn how to be loyal to guru and God. One who is never satisfied will not understand the philosophy properly, always hankering for more, twisting the words of the founder-acarya to find loopholes where to obtain more sense gratification. GKd >>Please do not mind, prabhu, but still with straw in teeth I also humbly beg to remind Your Grace that, as the *pati-guru* of our Mother Prtha, you will necessarily suffer reaction for her misbehavior.<< I suggest Guru-krsna das scrutinizingly look at his own misbehavior. Harassing my husband in this way would be a good place to start. There is not a *pati-guru* in this age. No one is that advanced. Such husbands who think they are that great will have to step down and let Prabhupada be guru of the women. He would not have initiated women if he wanted husband to be guru. In addition, it is only Gods job to decide if I will suffer greatly or not. I suggest you look in the mirror next time you feel the urge to condemn someone in that way Guru-Krsna das. Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. GKd >>Finally, prabhu, please forgive me for any offense(s) inadvertently committed by this appeal. Upon the request and with the blessings of numerous other respectable devotees senior to us, we have drafted this open letter in a most sincere and well-wishing attempt to bring a peaceful and happy resolve to all parties, named or unnamed, as well as to pacify the minds of the worldwide readers of VNN.<< First Guru-Krsna das makes countless false accusations, condemns me to suffer, accuses me of vaishnava-aparadha, then asks for forgiveness. Word jugglery. Now that the point by point trivia is over I suggest Guru-krsna das seek out his "friend" of GHQ who published Aham Brahmasmi Newsletter on VNN without my permission. Let us not look for angles around the four regulative principles, such as polygamy. Instead let's remain faithful to them. It is not the job of the GHQ to protect the women of this movement, nor has anyone asked them to, nor does anyone want them to. Better they should think of Krishna more and women less. Vows to the spiritual master must be taken seriously. "Initiation does not mean they have completed all their spiritual perfection and now they can relax but it means now they have begun spiritual life. If they are true to their vows, they will find all perfection in this life and be eligible to go back to Godhead." SPL 7-25-75 GHQ, supporters, pseudonyms, do not spam my mail box. Your Servant, Prtha devi dasi Related VNN Stories | Comment on this story | Contact VNN about this story | Send this story to a friend
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