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EDITORIAL April 13, 1999 VNN3583 See Related VNN Stories Srila Prabhupada's Desire: No Sense Gratification BY BABHRU DAS EDITORIAL, Apr 13 (VNN) — I have no intention of becoming embroiled in a tit-for-tat argument with Ameyatma prabhu about the propriety of polygamy; however, I do want to respond to a few problems I found in his reply to my article, "Lord Ramachandra's Example." First, it should be clear to anyone who reads my article carefully that it does not disparage polygamy, either as a principle or in its correct practice. It argues for careful consideration in argument. That's all. In the article to which I responded, Ameyatma simply ignored any views other than his own. As I teach even my first-year college students, any successful argument must take into consideration other sides of an issue, including any questions or objections that may be raised. Ameyatma didn't, and I simply wanted to point out that if we intend to include this practice in our understanding of establishing varnashrama-dharma, we should do so carefully. "We must also be humble enough to acknowledge the limits of our actual understanding," is what I actually said. I stand fast by my advocacy of humility. Further, anyone who reads my article can also see that nowhere in it do I attack Ameyatma's character or his motives for repeating Srila Prabhupada's words. I met Ameyatma when he lived in Los Angeles and Three Rivers, and never had any impression of him except that he is a serious, sincere devotee. And since an interlocutor's character is an important element of classical rhetoric, maybe I should mention my own track record: I have been a faithful disciple since early 1970 and a faithful husband to my wife for 26 years. Ask anyone who knows me. Since Ameyatma finds it appropriate, however, to question my motives, let me deal with that section of his recent article first. He asks, "Are you trying to create a generation of young prostitutes so you can enjoy them?" Not at all. I am strictly monogamous, and at 51 I'm done with sex and headed in the other direction. I'm probably more upset than Ameyatma is that so many of our devotees' daughters aren't properly situated; many of them were my students. Moreover, as far as I know, no one has ever before suggested such a flaw in my character. I find it insulting to Srila Prabhupada, to my vaishnavi wife, and to my godbrothers' daughters. More to the point, though, such character attack, although it's certainly his prerogative to indulge in it, weakens Ameyatma's argument. Early in his article, Ameyatma misstates my comments. Regarding the June 28, 1977 conversation, Ameyatma says I'm "reading things that just aren't there and putting words in SP's mouth that he didn't say." This is simply not true. Even in Ameyatama's quotation in this most recent article, right where he tries to prove I'm making things up, Srila Prabhupada says, "If the woman allows husband, ‘He likes.' . . ." I didn't say this; Srila Prabhupada did. His main point here is, as Ameyatma points out, that a chaste wife who is properly protected ought not to object. But Srila Prabhupada does say that a second wife would be permitted "If the woman allows." Ameyatma says, "I only read that SP says the wife must not mind very much if her husband takes more than one wife." Then read it again, more carefully this time, prabhu, because you seem to have missed a sentence. "If woman allows." One more timethose are not my words, but Srila Prabhupada's own. Ameyatma should read his own article more carefully, or at least be careful enough to edit out what he doesn't want us to see. He says I claim the Ninth Canto purport says "that Srila Prabhupada does NOT want us to take more than one wife." That is just not what I write there. What I do say is that it expresses his desire that his male disciples accept only one wife and remain faithful to her. He claims that I see this verse "as some sort of absolute dictum that is so strong and powerful that it totally overpowers and over shadows [sic]" all instructions that favor polygamy. But that's not what I say, either. Nowhere do I even imply that it nullifies any other instruction. One could make a case that instructions in Srila Prabhupada's books should carry more weight than comments made in his room, on a walk, or even in a letter. I read a letter to a godbrother named Sadhananda in which Srila Prabhupada wrote that devotees say, "Srila Prabhupada has said this, or said that." This is another form of cheating, he said. "If it is not in my books," he wrote, "I did not say it." I won't make such a case. I will, however, present some of Srila Prabhupada's instructions in the matter, from his books and other sources, to show that this is not an isolated statement that runs counter to his real desire. In the purport to SB 4.26.4, Srila Prabhupada writes, "One should be satisfied with his married wife, for even a slight deviation will create havoc." Then he continues, "A Krishna conscious grihastha should always remember this. He should always be satisfied with one wife and be peaceful simply by chanting the Hare Krishna mantra." In a 1972 Bhagavatam lecture in Los Angeles, he said, "So to become Krishna conscious means immediately--that is the test--immediately he will become free from lust and greediness. If he's not free from lust and greediness, he is making a show; he's not Krishna conscious. This is the test. If one is actually advanced in Krishna consciousness, then these two symptoms will be visible in his character: no more lusty, no more greediness. He should be satisfied with one wife or one husband. Why hankering after others? That is lusty. That means it is not on the stage of Krishna consciousness; it is in the material platform." In a 1974 Bhagavatam class, he said, "a person should be so nicely trained up that the one wife with religious, by performing religious ceremony, is given to him, he should be satisfied with her, not to see other women, adulteration. This is Kali-yuga." In 1975 he told us, "If anyone can maintain a family--family means one wife and one or two children--then he is to be considered very expert, successful," and in 1976 he said, "Tapasya begins with brahmacarya, life of celibacy, or accepting one wife only. That's all." Years before, in 1971 he said, "We recommend our students not to have illicit sex. We don't stop sex, but regulate. . . . What is the difficulty? No illicit sex means don't be cats and dogs. Be married man and have one wife, one husband, and be satisfied." In 1974, he wrote Sukadeva prabhu, "No, devotees are not allowed more than one wife. Devotees should have no wife if possible, but those who cannot maintain celibacy, they can marry one wife. At the present moment people are so unfortunate they cannot maintain even one wife. First of all at the present moment they are not married and remain mostly unmarried. So for such persons even one wife is a great burden. Under the circumstances how one can think of more than one wife? This is stupidity." There are more, but this just show that, although I don't claim this one purport supersedes all others, it is also not an isolated instruction. Ameyatma objects to my saying that his research shows that, "in the abstract, we should have little objection" polygamy practiced by men as qualified as Dasharath. He's particularly upset by "little objection" and suggests we should have "NO" objection. He also doesn't like "in the abstract." I agree. I'm happy to change it to "In principle, we should have no objection to the kind of polygamy practiced by men with qualifications similar to King Dasharath's." Despite Ameyatma's cleverness, I have no desire to obstruct our understanding of varnashrama-dharma, but to encourage careful understanding and even more careful application. At one point, Ameyatama concedes that, so far, experiments with polygamy have failed. Then he suggests that "most" monogamous marriages have failed as well, so perhaps we should give up on marriage altogether and just couple like animals. I'm sorry he wasted any of his time energy, and space on this unfortunate point. This is a clear case of the logical fallacy called argumentum ad absurdum. Although Ameyatma claims that polygamy is not meant for increasing sex life, Srila Prabhupada seems to have another opinion. In a 1973 letter to Rupanuga, he wrote, "After conferring with my various GBC representatives I have concluded that polygamy must be strictly prohibited in our society. Although it is a Vedic institution still there are so many legal implications. Neither are many of our men fixed up enough to tend for more than one wife. Polygamy will simply increase the sex life and our philosophy is to gradually decrease the sex life till eventually there is no sex life." Of course polygamy is ideally meant for protecting women. But that's not it's only purpose as we see in a Srimad-Bhagavatam purport: "A man is allowed to keep more than one wife because he cannot enjoy sex when the wife is pregnant. If he wants to enjoy sex at such a time, he may go to another wife who is not pregnant. These are laws mentioned in the Manu-samhita and other scriptures" (SB4.26.4, purport). And in a Bhagavatam class, he said, "According to Vedic civilization, because man is very aggressive, so he's allowed to accept more than one wife." Finally, Ameyatma invokes examples different from Lord Ramachandra's that he seems to think Srila Prabhupada wanted us to follow. Bhima, Arjuna, and other devotees, he points out, had more than one wife. Of course, they were rich kings and perfect devotees. Lord Nityananda had more than one wife, Ameyatma says. Maybe, but the example of Nityananda Prabhu's Srila Prabhupada wants us to follow is his compassion and tireless preaching of the holy names, not his disregard for social conventions. Even Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, he says, ignored Lord Rama's example by remarrying after his first wife's passing. In fact, He did, but only at the insistence of his widowed mother. He also left his wife at age 24 to go preach all over India. Ultimately, as evidenced by Ameyatma's title, he suggests we follow the example of Lord Krishna, who had 16,108 wives. However, when Srila Prabhupada discusses the Lord's household, he doesn't suggest it as a model for ours, except that, despite lying comfortably next to our wives, we should rise early in the morning, bathe and meditate on Krishna. Instead, Srila Prabhupada points out that Krishna accepted 16,108 wives to demonstrate His opulence as the full-fledged Personality of Godhead. This is one way Krishna shows He is not one of us! Once more, in case it's not clear to some, I'm not opposing polygamy. I'm only suggesting that we discuss the issue fully and apply it carefully. In fact, I expect this to be my last article on the subject. I'm much more interested in how we discuss it than in whether Ameyatma or anyone else has more wives than I. Neither do I suggest that anyone with an opinion different from mine is an atheist or infected with sinful desires of some sort. I only advocate careful and civil discourse among devotees, especially in public. Perhaps we should follow Srila Prabhupada's example. If necessary, marry one wife or husband, conduct our home lives according to the instructions of our spiritual master, gradually give up all material endeavor and sense gratification, and immerse ourselves in distributing prasadam, protecting cows, and chanting and broadcasting the glories of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu's sankirtan movement. After all, Narada Muni testifies that "those who are always full of cares and anxieties due to desiring contact of the senses with their objects can cross the ocean of nescience on a most suitable boatthe constant chanting of the transcendental activities of the Personality of Godhead." Babhru das See Related VNN Stories | Comment on this Story | Contact VNN regarding this Story
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