© 1999 VNN
|
EDITORIAL March 8, 1999 VNN3271 Is Srila Prabhupada My Diksa Guru? BY JANESVARA DASA ACBSP EDITORIAL, Mar 8 (VNN) — The following is a hypothetical composition in the form of a letter to my former temple president regarding my diksa initiation. It takes place around 1975 in New York City. It is meant to pose some genuine inquiries into the process of diksa initiation during the time of Srila Prabhupada's "physical" presence on the planet. How would this letter have been responded to by the temple authorities back in 1973 or now? Dear Temple President: I would like to humbly submit some questions for your review and consideration. Upon your careful consideration, would you please set aside a convenient time for us to meet and fully discuss these matters. They are of grave concern to me. As you know, I have been living in the temple for more than two (2) years. When I first joined the temple in November of 1973 I had the misfortune of just missing Srila Prabhupada's visit to the temple by a few weeks. At that time I was told I had to live in the "half-way" house up the street from the temple until I proved my sincerity and surrender to the regulative principles and chanting rounds of japa. This was fully acceptable to me, although I had no idea how cold the shower water was going to be the first morning of my stay, whew! After undergoing the austerity of the half-way house I was invited to join the temple full time and it was very satisfying to know I had accomplished some progress along this chosen spiritual path of mine. A path which, to my friends and family, was vastly different from my previous activities in American society. I was actually happy though because I had finally decided in my heart that formerly I wasn't living the way I really wanted to, but instead was effected by so many peer pressures and societal influences which led me toward uncomfortable activities like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, unsafe sex, etc. It was a radical change and I cannot say that everything has been really smooth and peaceful, nor have I felt very comfortable living with so many strangers, some of whom have very strange habits and not very good manners. Now, a couple of years later, I have been initiated for about a year and a half and have been attentively chanting my 16 rounds daily, joyfully attending morning and evening programs, doing sankirtan and also performing my occupational duties as temple commander for the hundreds of devotees here at the temple. Everyday is completely filled with spiritual and material duties in the service of Krsna. I am usually one of the first devotees to get up in the morning, so I can wake the rest of the Prabhus and open the TC office for toothpaste, razors, etc. I am usually the last one to take rest also because I have to make sure all the temple doors are locked and that the Prabhus are taking rest. I thoroughly enjoy my job and am grateful to you for allowing me this position. My concern is that during all of this time I have not had the opportunity to meet Srila Prabhupada personally and submit myself to him for his instructions. He has visited the temple on a couple of occasions and stayed for a few days. He was always in his quarters being attended to by Sruta Kirti and others and translating the books. It was blissful just knowing he was there but I wanted to speak to him even though I felt unworthy. You once gave me the job of cleaning his quarters while he was at work dictating the translations of the books. He looked up once or twice and glanced my way while I was scrubbing the floor but no words were exchanged between us. I was also invited on a morning walk with him and his senior disciples and this was a great honor and exciting and I have got to say that Srila Prabhupada walks really fast! But I still didn't have the opportunity to receive personal instruction from him. One time, you gave me the duty to protect him as a guard when we walked him to his car one morning an When I have expressed my concern to other devotee Godbrothers they tell me that I should just continue to do my duty for the temple especially since Srila Prabhupada is here and that will please him the most. They also tell me that we are reading the books every morning and that those instructions are the same as talking to Srila Prabhupada personally - even better, they say. My questions is: have I been given diksa by Srila Prabhupada? I have never received personal instructions from Srila Prabhupada. On a bodily platform he doesn't even know I exist. He knows the names of his senior disciples and servants but I am sure he does not know my little name out of the thousands of disciples he has initiated. When I had qualified for initiation you sent a letter to Satsvarupa Maharaja requesting him to submit my name along with some other Prabhus to His Divine Grace for his approval. A letter was returned from Satsvarupa Maharaja with the spiritual names to be given to us after a fire sacrifice. Srila Prabhupada didn't chant on any beads for us like we heard he had done for many other senior disciples. There was no personal instructions given to me or the others. To this day I have never spoken one word to Srila Prabhupada nor has he spoken a single word directly to me. I have not been able to submit submissive inquiries to him. I have not had an opportunity to be in his personal bodily association for diksa instructions even once. In fact, the only association I have had with Srila Prabhupada has been through his books and tapes. Had Srila Prabhupada left the planet, and no one told me, my association with him would not have been any less than it has been for the last two years. Can I receive diksa in this manner? Or did I miss out on this opportunity because I was not fortunate enough to surrender fully when he was present which would have allowed me to be invited into his personal association along with his servants and close senior disciples? Did I receive diksa from Srila Prabhupada via my senior Godbrothers who acted as Srila Prabhupada's authorized representatives? Did they discuss my personal sadhana and spiritual service with him in a detailed manner? Did he Please advise at your earliest convenience. Your fallen servant, Janesvara dasa jdf1@stsi.net Comment on this Story This story URL: http://www.vnn.org/editorials/ET9903/ET08-3271.html
NEWS DESK | EDITORIALS | TOP |
