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EDITORIAL February 18, 1999 VNN3088 Polygamy BY PRTHA DEVI DASI EDITORIAL, Feb 18 (VNN) — Recently there has been a resurge in the interest of polygamy. Years ago in this movement it was common knowledge that Prabhupada had discontinued polygamy. Currently that instruction seems to have been forgotten, ignored, minimized or brushed under the carpet. This needs to be straightened out. One might see, in the Vedic scriptures, polygamy advocated. The instructions of the pure devotee jagat guru are more important than the Vedic literature because we cannot always understand such advanced knowledge, nor are we always advanced enough to follow it. Therefore in his instructions he explains various points as well as tells us what we should or should not be doing, what we are advanced enough to do and not advanced enough to do, or alternatives. Sometimes his instructions appear to be different from the Vedas. In that case one must ALWAYS follow the instructions of Srila Prabhupada. Real polygamy is not possible in this age. To begin with, real polygamy provided separate housing for each wife. This not only kept the women more peaceful, decreasing jealousy, giving her a home of her own - a definite female need, but also kept the husband from considering any type of perversion, as when a man gets two or more women who are accessible to him under one roof he can develop idea's he normally would not have. To afford separate housing in kali-yuga is impossible. Admittedly Prabhupada DID have us experiment with polygamy. There is no denying that. However, it was just an experiment. He instructed the men to behave in a very advanced way and was only concerned about protecting the women of this movement. It was about protection, not how many women a man can accumulate who can admire him or tell him how wonderful he is, and all the men can look up to him in awe. This is usually low self-esteem and woman is not to be used to resolve such issues. A therapist or a qualified self-help book should be used, not people. (If they are using women, they are also using their godbrothers.) Shortly after Prabhupada tried this experiment of polygamy he saw that protection was not the result. Instead it became a license for illicit sex and exploitation of women. He soon revoked the instruction. "Dear Karandhara, Please accept my blessings. I have received your letter of 1/24/73 concerning polygamy and feel that this policy must be strictly prohibited within our society. If it is not it shall only cause chaos, as what was possible under the system of pure Vedic Culture is impossible at the present time." SPL, Melbourne, 10 February, 1973 Here, Prabhupada very clearly points out that only in a PURE Vedic society did polygamy work. No man is that pure anymore. Nor is any women truthfully pure enough to handle it. These are not criticisms, just a facts. We are all in the fire of purification. One who thinks he has already achieved sufficient perfection is the one in greatest trouble. It is a disservice to men to advocate polygamy. It will only lead to their falldown. In addition, Srila Prabhupada also warns of chaos and gives the very specific instruction that polygamy is *prohibited.* Prabhupada's real interest in polygamy was only in regard to protection, not about women's inferiority on a spiritual or intellectual level, only physically. However, when he saw his male disciples were not qualified he retracted the instruction of marrying more than one woman and changed it to a definite "NO." While some men claim polygamy will resolve the divorce issue, this is illusion at best. It will only increase this problem. It is hard enough making a marriage work with one wife, what to speak of two or three. Matter of fact, more often than not it is men who are having difficulty or are unsatisfied with their present relationship who start desiring another woman. Relationships are not easy. They require work, involvement and self- purification from both partners, not only the wife. In polygamy a woman is more likely to leave, not less. There are not any legal marital papers, which will eventually make her feel there is insufficient commitment or that she, and her children, will not be properly provied for. In addition, it is hard to live with another woman in the house. Thus divorce. Then there are children. What a mess. When there is some disharmony in the marriage, polygamy merely allows a man to run from wife to wife whenever one isn't "making him happy." He is miserable and thinks a new woman will resolve that. In this way he never has to look inside himself or take to purification. Srila Prabhupada created a brahmacarini ashrama for women who don't marry, therefore there is protection. In addition, there are not large numbers of unmarried women wanting to marry. so there is no need for polygamy. While some men brag how men are so superior that more of them join this movement than women, it works both ways. Since less women join there is, once again, no need for polygamy. For kali-yuga men, it is simply an excuse for more sex. Polygamy goes against the instructions of Srila Prabhupada. "My Dear Satsvarupa, Regarding your various questions. First let us understand that polygamy cannot be permitted in our society. Legally it is impossible and neither are there many of our devotees who are prepared to assume the responsibility for many wives. Therefore as I have suggested previously as they do in Christian religion they have so many convent where the women stay and they receive protection. The point is that the women must be protected and it is the duties of the leaders of our society to see that this is carried out." SPL, Melbourne, 10 February, 1973 Rather than men desiring more than one wife and *claiming* it is for the purpose of woman protection, those men who sincerely are interested in the protection of the ladies should look into the conditions and expectations of the brahmacarini ashrama's, making sure the women are not overworked, are properly protected and not kept in anxiety or bullied, are taken care of including emotionally, financially and medically, and that they have a some free time or time to themselves - to become centered and peaceful, that they do not have to give up their sense of self and merge with the temple presidents or someone else's idea of what a good brahmacarini should be like in order to survive or in order to be viewed as Krishna Conscious. (She is capable of figuring that out for herself by studying Prabhupada's books and lecutures.) Such involvement would reveal what men truthfully want to protect women and what men merely want to enjoy women. A man does not have to marry to assure the safety of the Vaisnavi's. "My Dear Rupanuga, Please accept my blessings. I am in receipt of your letter dated 31/1/73. After conferring with my various GBC representatives I have concluded that polygamy must be strictly prohibited in our society. Although it is a Vedic institution still there are so many legal implications. Neither are many of our men fixed up enough to tend for more than one wife. Polygamy will simply increase the sex life and our philosophy is to gradually decrease the sex life till eventually there is no sex life. The policy should be that all the women are given the utmost protection. Women are looking for husbands because they feel unprotected so it is up to the senior members to give all protection to the women. Letter to: Rupanuga Sydney 14 February, 1973" While some have argued that Prabhupada discontinued polygamy only due to legal difficulties, Prabhupada makes it very clear in this letter that it is not merely limited to legalities, but due to the *increase* of sex life men will desire. He clearly states that they are not fixed up enough. Any man who thinks they are fixed up enough, that man is in great illusion. Prabhupada's instructions weren't just for the 1960s and 70's, but eternal. He also states women are looking for husband for protection, not sex. I only mention this because in the brahmacarini ashrama women are strictly taught that one should not get married for sex, but in the brahmacari ashrama they teach, "Feeling lusty? Get a wife." No wonder there is such high divorce rate! Right from the start the two partners enter the relationship with totally different goals and philosophies! Therefore this must be corrected. A brahmacari should marry because he wants to protect a woman and because he likes her as a person, not resolve his lust issues. That is something men must resolve first in order to become qualified to be a husband. After all, she is a devotee too and wants to keep her vows. Many years passed since Srila Prabhupada revoked the instruction of polygamy, right on up to his disappearance. He had plenty of time to add a comment that eventually he wanted polygamy to be reinstated and practiced at some future date. However, he NEVER gave such an instruction. Therefore his last instruction on this stands. No polygamy, forever. Your Servant, Prtha devi dasi Comment on this Story This story URL: http://www.vnn.org/editorials/ET9902/ET18-3088.html
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