EDITORIAL
October 8, 2000 VNN6314 Related VNN Stories Comment on this story
In The Service Of Srila Prabhupada
BY YASASVINI DASI
EDITORIAL, Oct 8 (VNN) — I did not want to write this. I decided to do so for 3 reasons.
1. I felt it my duty as a disciple of H.D.G.. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, my beloved diksa guru and founder Acharya of the International society for Krishna Consciousness, known as Iskcon.
2. As a therapy for myself, in order to process what has gone on in the past 6 years of my life regarding the Iskcon temple based at Bhaktivedanta Manor in England.
3. To share some of my thoughts and some comments from our great acharyas concerning this matter.
For ease of reading it is also split into 3 sections:
1. Recent incidents.
2. What led up to this.
3. Thoughts, conclusions, and a list of interesting relevant occurrences.
Section 1: Recent Incidents
About 6 weeks ago I was asked to leave the Bhaktivedanta Manor grounds by Vipra Mukhya Maharaja simply because I am a follower of Srila Narayana Maharaja.
“If Srila Prabhupada's teachings are not being upheld within the walls of the institution we must go wherever his Iskcon is manifesting itself by the true teachings and process being followed, and we must continue to wholeheartedly follow his teachings. Then we are in Iskcon.”
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When I questioned why, as I hadn't done anything wrong and I am an initiated disciple of Srila Prabhupada, actively following his teachings and instructions, he proceeded to call Maha Vidya (with stick in hand) and one other male devotee saying: "She doesn't want to go, we're going to have to remove her."
As they approached, Maharaja at the front, I said: "Maharaja, don't you dare lay one finger on my body."
Maha Vidya, although known for violent behavior, actually looked quite uncomfortable (maybe because he's known me since 1973, as we joined the institution somewhere around the same time) and he said: "Let's call the police."
So the police was called, I said I would get my boy who was playing in the grounds so I could leave when the police came.
Maharaja jumped from side to side in front of me waving his outstretched arms. I could not help but ask what on earth he was doing, as a sannyasi, jumping back and forth in front of me and trying to stop me pass.
As I tried to walk around him to go look for my 10 years old boy, Vipra Mukhya Maharaja bellied me with his stomach into my stomach and knocked me back so as not to let me pass.
I felt he was a complete disgrace both to our divine spiritual master Srila Prabhupada, and to the sannyasi order to behave like this and I said so. As I tried to pass him again, he again bellied me for a second time and with a clever grin on his face said: "My hands are in my pockets." In other words, "I'm not laying a finger on you", because as he approached me I had said to him; " Maharaja, don't you dare lay one finger on my body."
Maharaja by this time was beginning to realize how embarrassing this situation was and told a boy devotee to stand in front of "this abusive woman" and not let her pass.
He was a very gentle person, perhaps a new devotee and was saying: "Please forgive me, please forgive me, I don't know why he's doing this to you." I apologize to him that he had to undergo experiencing such an uncomfortable situation, excused myself and walked around him to go and look for my boy.
Maharaja, who was by then entering the building, looked around, saw me and ran back out of the building and with the full force of a running man pushed his belly forward into mine once again and knocked me backwards into a wall at the side. I was very shocked at his outrageous behavior. He then put a stronger man to check me staying there and off he went.
The police arrived, they sent someone off to find my boy, and after they found him I left.
I had been physically assaulted.
This story is itself quite shocking, but I was even more shocked over the next few days on hearing from friends that Vipra Mukhya Maharaja was calling devotees over and personally telling them that I had hit him.
A deliberate lie!
I was flabbergasted and when I told them what actually happened, at first they were confused who to believe. After all, how could a sannyasi behave that way or tell deliberate lies. Pretty unbelievable!
As the story and the confusion began to spread, quite a few devotees went to Maharaja and asked him face to face; "Did you actually hit Yasasvini?" His reply each time was: "My hands were in my pocket," to which the majority presumed......oh see, he didn't hit her.
These, as I explained before, were the very words he used with a smile on his face as he repeatedly pushed his belly into mine.
This is duplicitousness!
This sannyasi, guru, temple president first of all used physical abuse, then lied completely by saying that I had hit him and then tried by clever words to cover his own abusive behavior.
This is cheating without any doubt, and is not anything to do with the standard practices set down by our glorious and pure hearted Srila Prabhupada, who built a house in which the whole world could take shelter.
There were witnesses, who will vouch for me if necessary.
Section 2 : What led up to this?
I spent 16 years happily living in the ashram, hard working and well respected but at times found it was very tough emotionally, as I was never very adept at speaking up for my needs or rights.
I married late in life looking for this security, but found difficulties when I realized hardly anyone followed the marriage vows set down by Srila Prabhupada.
Insecure and not strong enough to go against the general flow I also did not follow for some years, but this caused me a great deal of distress. When I finally spoke up for my rights as an individual and a disciple. I was met with very heavy opposition and from then on I was treated very badly by the institution. My marriage split, my son was 5 years old, I was given no support and it was all very traumatic.
I suppose I made the managing committee nervous, they were mostly not ready to feel the way I felt in this situation and I guess my speaking up made them have to question their own motives and lifestyles as managers, who were supposed to make decisions on behalf of other devotees lives.
The managing committee told me:
a-Do you realize you are one of the 3% in this movement who can follow these vows, do you think the other 97% have to feel guilty because of people like you.
b-Your husband is having problems because of you.
c-You must go before an Iskcon judicial court because you are such an unchaste wife.
They weren't sure if I was respectable enough to be seen in an "up front " position like sitting at the reception desk, where I did service.
I quoted "sarva dharman parityajya' and I was told: "that's your interpretation of the scriptures, we all have our interpretation.
Eventually all my service was taken away from me and I was treated as a trouble causer, there was no respect or validation given to anything I said.
All this because I wanted to follow the vows I had promised Srila Prabhupada.
Now if 97% can't follow, this is normal in the material world: but after becoming a devotee, there is a process given to us by His Divine Grace by which we can gradually rise above these things, and if we haven't risen above them; be honest, be humble, be desirous and willing to improve, there is nothing wrong with that...... but don't sit on a management board and tell others who want to follow that they are not allowed to.
I was shellshocked. The very movement that for 16 years as a single student had trained me to have full faith in Krishna, to surrender to Him fully, understanding I wasn't this body but a soul, God's servant who could not be satisfied with anything of this world other than His service. The movement who sent me out on dark nights, many times alone, collecting funds, distributing or preaching knowing that Krishna was seeing me hearing my prayers and protecting me and guiding me, I had full faith.
Now that very movement was telling me to forget everything I had learned and happily act as if I am the body regardless of the welfare of my soul. To surrender to their conditioned ideas instead of my wonderful transparent via media diksa guru Srila Prabhupada, who said in a lecture in New York 1997 Caitanya Caritamrita Introduction:
"We are all actually Krishna's servant. In conditioned life however we are shackled by the iron chains which take the form of beautiful women. Thus every male is bound by sex life and therefore when one attempts to gain liberation from the material clutches. he must first learn to control the sex urge. Unrestricted sex puts one fully in the clutches of illusion."
He goes on to say: "If we remain in family life we should live in such a way that we will not be subject to illusion (end of quote).
He used to say: brahamachary grhastas, that those giving their life to the mission should follow very strictly. He wanted a movement of vaisnavas who followed the highest standards and could teach the world by their example.
On this year's calendar from Iskcon, months October and September, Srila Prabhupada says:
"Without becoming a devotee of the Lord one cannot perfect one's human life. The perfection of human life is to be elevated to the spiritual world. Without this aim, any amount of material advancement in this so called comfort can only bring defeat of the human form of life."(September)
"The whole world is missing the point that we are not the body. The body is our encagement. Sometimes we get a golden cage, sometimes an iron cage. We must become free, this is urgent." (October)
Anyway, I was devastated, and couldn't believe I had no spiritual support. One older devotee even advised I see a sex counselor due to my lack of interest in sex life. I was told I was too attached to the rules and regulations and many devotees used contraceptives.
I spent the next few months sobbing at home. My whole life's dedication to a movement that was supposed to protect my soul, my real self had been torn from under my feet and I was made an outcast with no support.
I spent months crying and praying to Srila Prabhupada: "Where does my support lie now, I thought I had spiritual support, but it wasn't there when I needed most." I was so distraught, it was very hard for me to look after my child, to cook and clean, I was sobbing in despair.
Srila Prabhupada watched over me as He always does, He heard my prayers and saw my tears, He knew my heart's desires and as my eternal spiritual guardian He sent me help. That help came in the form of His Divine Grace Srila Narayana Maharaja, who is now my dear siksa guru.
Although initially I was a little wary of him because of things I'd heard I have seen over the last few years that he is preaching and teaching is disciples and followers the same spiritual standards and strict adherence to the "soul" platform, rather than the bodily platform, just as Srila Prabhupada always taught. I was so relieved.
Finally, someone who took it as seriously as Srila Prabhupada, the we are not these bodies and must gradually rise above them, and whose followers are living proof of his ability to teach them how to do this, by experiencing a higher taste.
I continued to visit Bhaktivedanta Manor for some time, but as devotees heard I was reading Srila Narayana Maharaja's books it became a regular occurrence that I would be verbally abused as I walked through the grounds of the temple.
One day a devotee stuck her nose almost on mine and shouted in my face: "Why don't you come out of the bushes and admit you've swapped Srila Prabhupada for Narayana Maharaja."
Srila Narayana Maharaja had been the only one to give me shelter.
No one in the institution had been able to give me shelter, and no-one had spoken up for me when I was being harassed.
Where is the kind encouragment from senior devotees (not only for me but for any devotee) to try to strictly follow Srila Prabhupada's teachings? Srila Prabhupada established his temples to encourages us to follow, in the association of devotees, a process which could revive our original constitutional identity as servants of Krishna
It seemed so incorrect; it was unfair to Srila Narayana Maharaja and it showed she didn't understand either him or Srila Prabhupada's mission and teachings; and she had no idea what I was feeling for Srila Prabhupada teachings in my heart.
I slapped her across the face! After this I was banned for 5 months until I complained they had no right to stop me seeing the Deities.
I was allowed to return as long as I didn't cause trouble. What a cheek! Anyway I would go there, not so often, but I would chant to the Deities or read in Srila Prabhupada's room sometimes, I more or less kept to myself except for personal friends, until....
....this recent episode with Vipra Mukhya Maharaja, when I was banned, this time for all time as I'm being guided by Srila Narayana Maharaja.
Section 3 : Thoughts and Conclusions
I often heard that Srila Prabhupada said: "if everyone else leaves Iskcon you stay; be chaste to Iskcon," and I wholeheartedly agree with this. If we are really devoted followers of Srila Prabhupada we should stick to Iskcon and never give up.
But my question arises here; is Iskcon the walls and buildings of the institution, or is it Srila Prabhupada's divine teachings?
Gour Govinda Maharaja was well known for asking the devotees (who lived in the temple) during class ; " Are you in Iskcon?" He would point at devotees. "Are you in Iskcon!" Implying, "Are you following the teachings and practicing the process?" Iskcon is not walls, it is the teachings of our Rupanuga Guru Varga which has been passed down through Srila Prabhupada, the glorious acharya of our sampradaya line.
If Srila Prabhupada's teachings are not being upheld within the walls of the institution we must go wherever his Iskcon is manifesting itself by the true teachings and process being followed, and we must continue to wholeheartedly follow his teachings. Then we are in Iskcon.
Srila Prabhupada was competent to plant seeds that would grow, and to give Krishna Consciousness from the beginning stages to the highest stages. He said he built a house in which the whole world can live (take shelter) and just as there is facility for those who can't follow but are trying, there must also be facility for those who can and want to follow, and want to push forward to deeper levels of Krishna Consciousness.
We must take help from elevated souls who can take us through anartha nivritti, and only those who are already free can help to free us. Don't think I am saying that the institution has nothing, or is doing nothing, or has not good devotees. On the contrary, it has a lot to offer, but at the moment there has been such diverse political unrest within the society that many devotees, including leaders, gurus and sannyasi are afraid to speak up about what they actually believe or know to be true.
Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati said, (quote):
"The awakened soul of the sadhu is necessarily and completely free from all touch of untruth or half truth..... It is his bounden duty to oppose any person who tries to deceive or harm himself or other people by misinterpreting the Truth, either due to malice or genuine misunderstanding. This will be possible if the chanter of Harinama is always prepared to submit to be trodden on by thoughtless people if any discomfort to himself will enable him to do good to his persecutors by chanting the truth in a most unambiguous manner.
If he is unwilling to chant the kirtan under all circumstances due to consideration of self respect or personal discomfort then he is unfit to be a preacher of the Absolute Truth.
Humility implies perfect submission to the Truth and no sympathy for untruth. Any clinging to untruth is opposed to the principle of humility born of absolute submission to the truth." (end of quote)
If we want to save Srila Prabhupada's mission we must become brave enough to stand by the truth and that includes telling the truth about Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja.
It is written in Srila Prabhupada Lilamrita, and is on certain tape recordings, that in Srila Prabhupada's final hours, before leaving the planet, he called for Srila Narayana Maharaja and personally asked him to help his disciples and followers after he left, because they were not so strong yet.
We must take help from elevated souls. Srila Narayana Maharaja has no interest to take over a world wide movement with big problems; but he is willing, as a servant of Srila Prabhupada, to help us bring back the purity to the society and help re-establish strong capable leadership there, with whoever is willing to take up the responsibility to have the courage to present the truth, as it is, in all circumstances.
Like Srila Prabhupada and Srila Narayana Maharaja, all true saints and acharyas prove themselves by their qualifications of sticking to the Absolute Truth regardless of personal discomfort, of being misunderstood or even being thought to be malicious. It is up to each individual soul to prove himself by his own words and actions.
Srila Prabhupada's mission worldwide is to help all, but his goal is to give us pure love for Krishna and His associates. He gave us a daily lifestyle to cleanse our hearts from anarthas. How conscious are we daily of following the process to achieve a change of character; or are we just busy working for Krishna's mission unmindful of the goal, or the process and not seeing any change in our lives?
How much are we experiencing an increasing taste to hear and chant about Krishna's pastimes, to chant His Holy Name and sing kirtan simply for His pleasure?
How much are we enthusiastic not to waste a second of our time, not to criticize or gossip? And how much are we enthusiastic to sit and maturely discuss philosophy back and forth to make sure we are fully understanding what the scriptures mean?
Srila Narayana Maharaja has never said not to preach: He himself is preaching at a very advanced age and also sending out trained experienced preachers around the world, but not at the expense of their sadhana or sanga. Without strong sadhana and sanga there will be no realization or experiences to preach about, only memorized words with no potency to remove the anarthas from people's heart.
Without going through anartha nivritti we cannot get to nistha and ruci (steadiness and taste), and without a higher taste it is impossible to give up the lower taste permanently.
Sraddha, sadhu sanga, bhajana kriya, anartha nivritti, nistha, ruci, asakti, bhava, prema.
Whilst young devotees may feel temporarily satisfied and guided, being at the beginning stage, it seems the gurus and leaders do not have the ability to help the majority of older devotees (whose anarthas and doubts are much more subtle and deep, being further along the path).
In fact, many leaders may be struggling with the very same deep, subtle anarthas themselves.
Due to a lack of taste many older devotees have given up their practices and returned to sense gratification; some however still serve full time within the institution; but the majority are not really satisfied and hanker for association which will inspire them once again to push forward spiritually, as Srila Prabhupada wanted.
Srila Narayana Maharaja always glorifies Srila Prabhupada and reads and quotes regularly from His books, He tries to make us see what Srila Prabhupada wanted from us as true disciples.
Srila Prabhupada's picture is always on the altars, in our homes and on Srila Narayana Maharaja tours, his books are also sold (even though I've heard someone had "reported" differently recently), but I do happen to know; as I've travelled to quite a few different countries and locations to hear Srila Narayana Maharaja over the past few years.
I know many, many things has been said against Him, I can only take from my own first hand experience and the results in my own spiritual practices.
A few years ago I had a conversation with a very respected leader of the institution, whom at this point in time I will not name. In that conversation he personally told me that there is nothing wrong with Srila Narayana Maharaja but due to politics within the movement he had just helped to have him banned from the Iskcon society. He said that 2 of the Iskcon gurus were trying to use Srila Narayana Maharaja as a pawn, so that they, as his successors, could take over the institution after his demise. At this point I will not name these 2 gurus either.
I had discussed with this respected leader that I was beginning to follow Srila Narayana Maharaja and why I was doing that, and he told me to follow my heart in these matters. He said things will probably change, but they will get worse before they get better. Although I told hardly anyone except a couple of friends, somehow it leaked out and when approached about it, this leader denied it and at that time also I was labeled as a "liar".
I kept quite and accepted the situation, because I thought this particular leader may be able to help Srila Prabhupada's movement in some way, but as I see so much blasphemy of a pure and elevated devotee like Srila Narayana Maharaja being spoken, I am beginning to think this blasphemy alone will destroy the institution and its followers and therefore I must begin to speak the truth.
I have 2 witnesses also if I should need them in the future, as 3 of us were present at this particular conversation.
In the name of the desired purity we want for Srila Prabhupada's movement, I humbly ask all mature devotees not to follow blindly, or repeat blindly whatever you hear, but with an open and sincere heart, check and see for yourself over a period of time, the authenticity of Srila Narayana Maharaja and his close followers.
They are bona fide Vaisnavas who want to help, not take over. They should not be blasphemed, but honored.
We would all like to see Srila Prabhupada's movement strong and pure again. Iskcon and the Rupanuga Guru Varga teachings will never be lost, but it would be nice if the establishment that Srila Prabhupada worked so hard for could be used to spread his pure teachings, rather than Iskcon having to manifest elsewhere.
Let us please Srila Prabhupada by pure cooperation, taking shelter of high class sadhu sanga and re-establishing a pure house so His Divine Grace will be pleased to stay there and see his mission spread from there also. Devotees will automatically follow according to their level of eligibility, but all levels should be available from Srila Prabhupada's movement.
If my words have offended anyone I am truly sorry but I must speak what I have seen to be the truth and what I have personally experienced. We cannot blaspheme great vaisnavas, everyone's bhakti will suffer.
Sri Nityananda Caritamrita by Vrindavana Das Takhura states:
"Wherever blasphemy of Vaisnavas is done, even in religious places never the less, the place and the blasphemers will be destroyed. If blasphemy is done in the assembly of the sannyasis, then such an assembly is worse than a den of drunkards. A drunkard may be delivered in the course of time but there is no salvation for those who criticize a Vaisnava. Even after studying the scriptures, such a blasphemers intelligence will be ruined."
(end of quote)
Srila Prabhupada also quotes Srila Jiva Goswami in his purport in Caitanya Caritamrita, Adi Lila 1.35: "It is imperative that a serious person accept a bona fide spiritual master in terms of the sastric injunctions. Sri Jiva Goswami advises that one not accept a spiritual master in terms of hereditary or customary social and ecclesiastical conventions. One should simply try to find a genuinely qualified spiritual master for actual advancement in spiritual understanding. "
(end of quote)
So how can someone be banned for this?
Although Srila Prabhupada said everything in is own books, He is recommending (in his books), that we read the previous acharyas books if we are serious, in order to better relish and understand the subject matter, CC Adi Lila 5.203 and Srimad Bhagavatam 1.1.1, to name just 2 places. From personal experience I can only say this gives a much clearer understanding of the whole picture from different angles of great devotees.
Srila Prabhupada also says in CC Madhya Lila 1.220: "Bhaktivinode Thakura describes kali cela- he indicates there is a pseudo vaisnava with tilak on his nose and tulasi beads around his neck. Such a pseudo vaisnava associates with money and women and is jealous of successful vaisnavas.
Although passing for a vaisnava his only business is earning money in the dress of a vaisnava. Bhaktivinode Thakura therefore says such a pseudo vaisnava is not a vaisnava at all but a disciple of kali yuga. Mundane votes have no jurisdiction to elect a vaisnava acharya a vaisnava acharya is self effulgent."
(end of quote)
Srila Prabhupada went further to say there are many jealous people in the dress of vaisnavas in this Krishna Consciousness Movement and they should be completely neglected.
Spiritual life is a razor's edge Srila Prabhupada says, so we must be very careful if we really want the truth. But as Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati said in one lecture, "if we are convinced of the necessity of consulting a real sadhu, we should be able to find him and he will explain to us the mode of life recommended in the sastras, which we should lead in this world for the benefit of our souls" (end of quote)
Let us pray, all sincere devotees, to discard envy and fear, and honestly look into our heart and try to seek the truth. This is the only place we will find the peace, security and love we are all desiring.
The Absolute truth is a person, and we can only be fully satisfied by entering into our relationship with Him.
This is the message of our Srila Prabhupada, Srila Narayana Maharaja and all our guru varga.
Sambandha, abhideya, prayojana.
Krishna consciousness is transcendental, it is not limited by different bodies, different religions or different societies; it is the genuine search for each soul's relationship with the Supreme Soul and His associates, and we have the right to seek out that pure association and teacher to help us, wherever they may be.
Hare Krishna
Anyone wishing to download books and recent lectures of Srila Narayana Maharaja should visit the site: http://purebhakti.com
Anyone wishing to be included in a mailing list to receive Srila Narayana Maharaja lectures and tour reports please contact: harikatha@egroups.com
Anyone wishing to have more information about anything in this article or have questions about Srila Narayana Maharaja or His relationship with Srila Prabhupada please fell free to contact me at: anandini@tinyworld.co.uk
Or for more information about Srila Narayana Maharaja
Aspiring to serve the Vaisnavas
Yasasvini dasi
PS: This has been a very long article, but I would like to just mention one more incident that happened at Bhaktivedanta Manor on the Sunday festival for Krishna's birthday.
My god sister Asta Sakhi dasi, also a follower of Srila Narayana Maharaja and whom Srila Prabhupada personally told to make sure the Deities, Radha Gokulananda, were always cared for, was also banned simply for following Maharaja.
Since taking guidance from him, Asta Sakhi had maintained helping to decorate her spiritual master's vyasasana and make profuse arrangements for his and the Deities pleasure on festival days as she had always done before and was happy to continue doing so.
So feeling upset to have been banned completely; at Janmastami and Vyasa Puja time, she decided to stage a protest with banners opposite the front gate of Bhaktivedanta Manor temple.
When the police protecting the protest went somewhere all together, I suppose presuming this would be a peaceful event; about 10 or 12 Indian youth came running out from Bhaktivedanta Manor grounds with sticks in their hands shouting, "you are not vaisnavas," and continuing to shout other abusive remarks. They grabbed all the banners but one, which Asta Sakhi fought to keep hold of. The broken pieces were strewn all over the road and they threw the larger pieces over the hedges into the fields.
They tried to steal the flyers being distributed and in taking the banners from the women and children, cut and scraped Asta Sakhi's leg and scratched some of the children's hands and arms.
Vipra Mukhya Swami came out later with a letter apologizing and saying they had no knowledge this was going to happen but it was our fault for being there.
I will not say this was not true but 3 things were noteworthy:
1. A devotee saw the sannyasi standing by the front gate raise his hand and beckon the boys to come.
2. Quite a few of the boys were still wearing their kitchen aprons and could not have left cooking without permission.
3. (and most important) If the management really didn't know, then why didn't Atmanivedanam Swami and Sriman Pandit immediately come to stop them, and say this was not correct behavior, not representative of their codes of conduct.
Instead, the swami shouting, "get the posters, get the posters," and Sriman Pandit was patting them on the back as they re-entered the temple grounds.
Indeed if the management didn't know, they should have immediately rounded these boys up at the gate, questioned their behavior and if need be, banned them for their aggressive and uncontrolled behavior.
These boys were mostly Pandava Sena members, and if this is the result of what Pandava Sena are learning at Bhaktivedanta Manor, then maybe the parents of these Indian youths should question the management about what they are being taught there.
Thank you for listening, please help to straighten out Srila Prabhupada's house in any way you can. If you feel strongly, write to people, the GBC, the Bhaktivedanta Manor management, individuals, England GBC representative Siva Rama Maharaja, write your own articles for the internet, etc. etc.
Many drops of water wear away the stone
Jaya Sri Radhe!
Srila Prabupada ki jaya!
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