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EDITORIAL June 6, 2000 VNN5995 Comment on this story Response To Recent Accusations BY MAHAMANTRA DAS EDITORIAL, Jun 6 (VNN) — (see also VNN Story 5797) I'm writing this for anyone who cares to hear my side of the story, as everyone knows there is always two sides to every event. I've just returned from 3 months in India, praying for much needed purification and direction in spiritual life. By Krsna's grace it was somewhat successful.
My ex-wife is a nice devotee. I introduced her to Krsna consciousness about 6 years ago. At that time I was running a preaching center and she became very eager to join. I was separate from ISKCON although we tried to do everything how Prabhupada would have liked it. We were financially and legally separate from the Vancouver ISKCON center. The charges that are being laid against me are not all true. Of course there is a thread of truthfulness to some of the things otherwise how could they be made in the first place. I feel and have always felt very remorseful for any of the violent outbursts that I've had. I've sent various letters to individuals involved apologizing profusely for any improper action. I have taken counseling to deal with my anger problem. Most of the difficulties I had with my wife were four years ago, so I was quite shocked when she started circulating these letters in February of this year. She left me quite suddenly about one year ago. Her children, the eldest one particularly, made an ultimatum to her mother. Either you leave Maha or I will run away. The last year or two that we were together things were getting better and better. I felt hopeful that things would work out. My wife's health appeared to be good and so she and the kids got their own place to live. I paid the first month's rent and we agreed that I would see them regularly, at least my wife and baby daughter. I t was quite a shock to me when less than one month later she changed her phone number and shortly after I was served papers that I wasn't even to try to see them. I never saw or heard from them for almost one year. I knew that she was living with one male devotee in an apartment and I heard via the grapevine that all 4 of her daughters had been taken away from her due to some sickness. Then one day I got a phone call from Santa Devi requesting me to see her. She said it was good news. I went to see her and we spoke for over one hour during which time she told me her story of the past year. She told me that her children had become too much for her on her own and that they had been cruel and even abusive with her pushing her over the limits of what she could take. She had had a mental and physical breakdown and was on heavy mental drugs given to her by a professional mental doctor. I could see the change in her and advised her to get off these drugs as soon as possible. I cried when I saw how debilitated she had become. Her body looked healthy but her mind was different from when I knew her. She had become a victim of very unfortunate circumstances. Having to blame someone for this very unfortunate turn of events her family members, who never liked the devotees of the Lord from day one, thought it would be very convenient to blame Mahamantra for this whole unfortunate mess. I'm sure they never expected to get such a healthy response from the leaders of our society but the timing was right with a big court case looming up over them from all these abuse victims. Let's make Mahamantra the scapegoat just so everyone can see how efficient we are in dealing with these cases but at the same time ISKCON allows some of their gurus who have abused women and children in so many ways to go on as if nothing happened. I am very fallen and guilty of all kinds of sins but nothing is going to make me stop chanting and trying to serve the servant of the servants of the Lord. Recently I've been fortunate to discover many wonderful Vaisnavas completely outside the ISKCON movement and I take this as Krsna's causeless mercy on me. I only hope and pray that the leaders of ISKCON will wake up before its too late to the unlimited mercy that Srila Prabhupada is giving beyond any material organization. I beg at the lotus feet of all the Vaisnavas that whatever offenses I have committed both knowingly and unknowingly may please be forgiven, and I don't blame anybody if that takes sometime. I stand chastised and corrected, Your aspiring servant, Mahamantra das PS: My e-mail address is hmantra@hotmail.com if anyone has any comments or questions. I will respond accordingly. Comment on this story  Contact VNN about this storySend this story to a friend
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