© 2000 VNN
|
EDITORIAL April 18, 2000 VNN5863 Related VNN Stories A Personal Realisation BY DEVARSIRAT DAS EDITORIAL, Apr 18 (VNN) — In anticipation of His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharajas visit to the UK this year, I would like to share the following story about two personal spiritual experiences i had in 1974 and in 1997. I am not the best person when it comes to explain anyhting and my english is quite basic, but please overlook my shortcomings in this regard.
Many years ago in 1974 when I still lived in Germany I had my first encounter with Srila Prabhupada. But it was not as you might think a physical meeting, but a spiritual one. My then marriage was in ruins and my x-wife started associating with the TM folks. For me it was a time of intense mental anguish and suffering. I have had a few encounters with the devotees from a travelling sankirtan party on the streets of my hometown Oldenburg near Hamburg and really liked them. I took a BTG magazine from the devotees because I was very attracted by the front picture of the BTG, showing Dhruva Maharaja, standing ready to fight with His bow in His hands in the middle of serpents, lightening and thunder, lions and tigers with a fierce sea coming towards Him, with His head high, showing no fear at all. My x wife was not interested but put up pictures of Yogi Maharishi in the house and tried to get me into it as well, but I desired to see the devotees again and went everyday to the towns local market place in the hope to meet them there again. One night I had a most astonishing astral experience, which till today has stayed in my memory as if it was yesterday. During the whole night, I remember only blackness and in the middle of this blackness I had a two part dream. During the first part, I visited a big house filled with TM people and also Yogi Maharishi. They engaged in all different types of activities and as I watched them, I realised that my life would not change very much, because I saw myself together with them, still doing the same things as ever. I thought to my self, "that's not where I want to be" Everything became black again and suddenly I found myself in a medium sized room . I seemed to be very small, hovering in a little corner of this room. The room was white and full of light with no decoration at all, but the atmosphere was full of warmth and great happiness . As I began to look around, my eyes detected Srila Prabhupada in the right corner. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, dressed in saffron His danda next to Him and He smiled the most beautiful smile anyone could imagine. Apart from Him and me, there was no one in the room. He was so effulgent and His happiness seemed to be boundless. When I saw Him like that, I instantly wished to be always together with this most beautiful personality. I felt protected and totally attracted. This memory of Srila Prabhupada I have kept with me ever since. When I woke up the next morning, I remembered my dream instantly, but it did not appear like a dream, more like a definite happening. I felt very refreshed and suddenly knew what I had to do. I looked up the Address of Schloss Rettershof, the German Temple, and leaving my wife and home behind, I travelled the 300 miles to the castle, hoping to meet this wonderful person again. I joined immediately, was shaved up the next day and a day later was put in a sankirtan van and hours later found myself back in my old hometown, the one I just came from, but this time with no hair, trying to distribute books. Anyway, I never looked back since then. Srila Prabhupada came to me personally and picked me up from the ocean of birth and death. I did my service in Iskcon, distributed books for many years, became initiated and was very enthusiastic to serve Srila Prabhupada and follow His instructions. The day He passed away, I was in Tokyo with Guru Kripas Nama Hatta gang. It was the worst day of my life and after that things where never the same again. I remember that despite my anguish, Guru Kripa send me out to collect on that day, but all I did, was walking the streets of Tokyo alone for the whole day, unable to approach anyone and crying for Srila Prabhupada. As the years went by I began to have great difficulties, so many things happened in my beloved masters movement and some of the bad experiences I had after Srila Prabhupadas passing, where almost intolerable and looking back I wonder, how I still continued trying to support Iskcon, to chant and follow the principles for all these years. The ritviks exposure of Iskcon, arriving at my house almost every week, and the memory of my own experiences affected me a lot, and it became more and more obvious, that things had gone from bad to worse and I lost all hope for my spiritual life ever to be successful. I had lost all faith in the GBC, and did not know what to do. I still continued however and even had a Nama Hatta group always trying to somehow give Iskcon my service, but somehow my life was dry and something was desperately missing, I had a hole in my heart. When I heard about Srila Narayana Maharaja in 1997, something moved from within, somehow I knew instantly, that He is a pure devotee, I just knew in a very special way. Even so I had never seen Him I received a very sweet knowing that something was going to happen and I felt very attracted to it. Then when for the first time I heard some bad politics against Him I knew, that this was the time to distance myself from Iskcon, I did not want to take part in the offences, or associate with devotees making these offences. Non of the authorities seemed to be bothered by these things and I felt disgusted. It was a difficult decision somehow, because it also meant, that I would be possibly banned from the temple and not see Sri Sri Radha Gokulananda again if it came to it, but to make a long story short I decided to follow my heart. In a way I followed Srila Prabhupadas instructions, not to stay at a place where a Vaisnava is being offended. This does not mean I am all free from offences, I just had a light moment I guess. Srila Narayana Maharaja came to me in a similar way as Srila Prabhupada did, not in a dream, but definitely through the guidance of the Supersoul. For a whole year I felt sweet and happy just thinking about Srila Narayana Maharaja even so I never met Him . During this time, my faith grow stronger every day and I felt that I had Srila Prabhupadas full blessings, to approach Srila Narayana Maharaja for Siksa. But it was not only me who felt like this, Govinda my wife, felt the same love and sometimes the atmosphere in our home became extremely spiritual just talking about Him and Srila Prabhupada. The amazing thing is, that Govinda my wife also had a very real dream in which Srila Prabhupada smiled affectionately at one of our dear friends as if he was very pleased with him. The next day, we found out, that this friend had just taken initiation from Srila Narayana Maharaja. We both knew we where on the right path and could not remember feeling like this for a long time. With great excitement we looked forward to meeting Him in Wales. The day before we met Srila Narayana maharaja, I felt some anti-climax inside me, what if we only imagined all this and Srila Narayana Maharaja was just a regular guru? The next morning when I saw Maharaja for the first time, I promised myself to be absolutely cool and unsentimental as not to be influenced by false feelings. I stayed unsentimental, because what I experienced then was not sentimental but deeply spiritual. As I watched Him, suddenly without warning, a tremendous feeling of relieve and happiness came upon me, which in an instant cleared up all my still remaining doubts and anxieties. Tears came out my eyes like a tropical rainfall, but this was not hysterical euphoric or sentimental. I had this before, only ones in my entire life, that was when I met Srila Prabhupada in His garden in Vrindavan, no one else could produce these feelings in me. It became clear to me, that Krishna had again lead me into the right direction and answered my prayers to do so. As I watch Him and listen to His words, a picture came together within my minds eye and I was able to envision the whole chain of our spiritual masters. Srila Narayana Maharaja connected genuinely with Srila Prabhupada, Srila Kesava Maharaja, Bhaktisiddhanta Maharaja, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Srila Rupa Goswami, everyone, a chain of spiritual masters all the way reaching into Goloka Vrindavan to the Lotus feet of Srimati Radhika Herself. The days in Wales went past to quickly, the devotees, the Kirtans, Srila Narayana Maharaja, everything was supremely genuine.The shrill voices of the critics and offenders are powerless and dying in the memory of this experience, no one can take this away from me. Srila Narayana Maharaja has mercifully brought Srila Prabhupada back to me and Srila Prabhupada hearing my prayers for help at a time of great distress has brought me to Srila Narayana Maharaja. Krishna watched and was very pleased with everything. I got a new lease of life and so did Govinda who became Govinda Priya dd. My two children Anjali dd and Hari das also took initiation. I have never been successful in my life, I am also not very knowledgeable or literate, but now I have become successful, because I was able to bring my family to the lotusfeet of a genuine pure devotee of Srimati Radharani and Lord Krishna. I hope that this time I will meet my many devotee friends from the UK again, who have not been able to come yet and hear Srila Narayana Maharaja. Please do not listen to anti propaganda, bad mouthing and other ignorant statements designed to prevent you from Srila Prabhupadas advice to associate with pure Vaisnavas. Devarsirat das p.w.w@diamond.co.uk Temple of Understanding http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/2469/ Related VNN Stories  Comment on this storyContact VNN about this storySend this story to a friend
NEWS DESK | EDITORIALS | TOP |
