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EDITORIAL February 10, 2000 VNN5445 Comment on this story Going Beyond The Dark Side BY MAHAVEGAVATI DASI EDITORIAL, Feb 10 (VNN) — Vyasapuja Offering to Bhaktitirtha Swami: (Part Three) My Dear Srila Prabhupada, I pray that I may one day come to the point of being able to realize the infinite love, mercy, and kindness of which you are possessed. I pray that I may also come to the point of developing such love, kindness, and mercy within my heart as well. "Going Beyond the Dark Side" When I got back to USA in February 86, I was in for another HUGE smash: ALL of my Deities' paraphernalia was stolen! Before I left for Africa the first time, Bhaktitirtha Swami instructed me to leave ALL of my
I was completely devastated. (It actually took me many years to get over it.) Much of the paraphernalia was sold to devotees in New Vrndavan or made its way to the altar there. I do NOT place ANY blame for this theft committed by other devotees upon Bhaktitirtha Swami, but I do hold him accountable for the fact that he, KNOWING what had happened, and KNOWING that I was going to replace at least some of my Deities' paraphernalia, (four large silver asanas to be exact), TOOK this laksmi which belonged to my Deities which was SPECIFICALLY to be used FOR THEM for this purpose. (This laksmi is not the laksmi mentioned earlier in part two which was also taken by BTS in Zambia 1984. That laksmi earlier mentioned also belonged to my Deities and was to be used in purchases for Them as well.) Upon my return to USA, as explained before, I did NOT want to go to New Vrndavan. I had already had my fill of experience serving under Kirtanananda and his men when he took over the Buffalo temple and became the GBC there. When Kirtanananda took over, things changed and it was not pleasant, (at least not for me being a single woman). I had gotten beaten several times due to K Swami's teaching about women, and the FACT that many of his men were VERY agitated. Kirtanananda had often told his men that "women are for beating and f___ing." (Yes, he DID use THAT EXACT word.) K Swami had sent one particularly cruel, (possibly mentally imbalanced), man to take over as TP, and when he took over, many things got out of hand. (I will not go into detail, but this man was also involved in some of the mess in New Vrndavan during those nasty years of the murders.) On several occasions he beat me because he was angry that I would not agree to be "traded" for his wife who was serving with the "Dharmetts" in Pittsburgh. This TP also gave his approval to one of the so-called brahmacaris to beat me while he watched. (The brahmacari sent me an apology three years later through another devotee saying that he "was very sorry for what he had done," explaining the reason, "because I was so agitated that a woman could practice celibacy better than I could.") This TP also insisted that I leave the hospital TWO DAYS AFTER a MAJOR operation on my stomach, DESPITE my STILL being hooked up to nasal-gastral tubes and an IV. (Mahamantra from Dallas can substantiate, as he says he remembers it "very well." This includes the hospital incident AND the beatings. I know it sounds weird, but it is true. I was one of those devotees who had been TAUGHT, (and I accepted), that a devotee should ALWAYS follow the instructions given to him by his ISKCON authorities, EVEN IF the instructions were wrong. We were told - with that "ancient" line, "Srila Prabhupada said" - "You should always follow the instructions of your authorities UNLESS they tell you to stop chanting your sixteen rounds or to break the four regulative principles." It was also taught that if a devotee "was given a wrong instruction by his/her ISKCON authority, the devotee WAS TO FOLLOW IT, and if the devotee followed it, Krsna and Prabhupada would protect the devotee and would correct the situation.") Thus, simple and surrendered as I was, (STUPID), I DID surrender to that instruction, to the dismay of the the hospital staff and the surgeon. (It was some years later that I found out that this TP had been drinking a WHOLE bottle of Gin every day when he was TP of Buffalo temple, and he was NOT chanting his rounds.) Thus, with that "history" of experience under K Swami, and knowing of so many other things, I did go through a MAJOR "debate" whether or not to bloop and leave the movement or to surrender and go to New Vrndavan where Kirtanananda, (then "Srila Bhaktipada") had his regime. I finally surrendered and went to New Vrndavan, where "Srila Bhaktipada" put me out on NYC subway scamkirtan. "Srila Bhaktipada" had me on Subway scamkirtan dressed as a clown, from 6:00am till 9:00pm, with a huge daily quota to meet. (He even had me living WITH the MEN at his Greenpoint center - I was the ONLY woman there. I finally moved out and shared an apartment with one blooped mataji.) After some time my feet started crippling up due to my back already being so bad. (I walked improperly to compensate for the bad back.) Srimati Radharani actually saved me, as one day, when "S Bhaktipada" FINALLY gave me permission to return to the farm for two days to get some association, (he had NOT even allowed me to return for Janmastami or Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu's appearance day), I was sitting in his Srimad Bhagavatam class, and I became disgusted when he was speaking some impersonal philosophy. At first I thought that my ears had heard wrong, but when Kirtanananda later said something else about Srimati Radharani which was TOTALLY OFF, I just got up, turned around, and walked out of the class. I thought, "I can NOT serve under him anymore." I went back to NYC, called BT Swami and told him, "I'm leaving my service under 'S Bhaktipada.' I don't agree with the philosophy that he is preaching. I have to leave. I just wanted to let you know that I am leaving and I will be going to India." BT Swami then told me, "You can't go to India now; I need for you to come to Ghana." I said, "Oh no, I have had enough experience serving under you. I have never been to India, and it is time that I should go. I have to replace my main Deities' asanas. Srila Prabhupada also wanted all of us to go at some point so I'm going to go now." BTS then told me, "Umapati Maharaj is going to come to West Africa. You can come with him and me." I said, "That's nice, but I should go to India. I have never been there." I asked if Umapati Maharaj had the airfare, and when BTS told me no, I told BTS that I would pay for Umapati Maharaja's airfare. Again BT Swami tried: "Listen, there's a big problem in the Accra temple and I need you to go there and take care of it..." SOMEHOW BTS used his psychology on me and with his expertise, it worked. I FINALLY agreed to go to Accra, but I ONLY agreed to go "for six weeks at the most." I agreed to go to take care of the problems there, and that after taking care of the problems, I would leave for India. I told BTS that since I was making that sacrifice for him, it was only proper that he should pay my airfare to Accra. But smooth talker as BTS is, by the end of the conversation I was paying NOT ONLY Umapati Swami's airfare but my airfare AND BTS's airfare as well. I AGREED to go to Ghana "for ONLY SIX WEEKS" to take care of the problems there and THEN leave for India. BTS then told me to send him $7000 for ALL of the tickets: $2000 for U Swami's ticket, $2000 for BTS's ticket, and $3000 for my ticket. Now the question may come up as to WHEREFROM I got all of this laksmi both in the past and at this point: I USED to be a jeweler BEFORE I moved into the temple. I worked with silver and gold, doing casting, and other silver work. (I also did some jewelry work at night, while living in the temple.) Many of my pieces had been in NYC stores for years on consignment, and when I FINALLY got the opportunity to go to NYC, I got the laksmi from those pieces. Between that laksmi and some other laksmi I had received at one point in the 70s, I was able to contribute ALL of that laksmi in my service to BTS. Now another question may come up: "Why if you had gone through so much hell under BTS, had so much experience of his dishonesty, and had EVEN taken a VOW that you would NOT serve under him again, did you GO and SERVE under him again?" GOOOOD question? And believe it or not, I DO have an answer. My MAIN reason in agreeing to go was because I did it for Srila Prabhupada. When BTS told me that there was a problem in the temple, I felt a sense of DUTY to our Guru Maharaj, Srila Prabhupada, to go and take care of the problem. THAT is why I FINALLY agreed to go. Other than THAT PARTICULAR reason, I really am NOT sure why I agreed to do that for BTS. When it comes down to it, there are a few other thoughts that I have about WHY I did it. I could say that it is because I am the STUPID person that I am!!! (Putting the low self esteem and downgrading of myself to the side, I think that my WOMANLY NATURE got the better of me, or I should say, "motherly" or "sisterly" nature.) Somehow, it is just THAT DEEPLY INGRAINED in me, although now, after all of the HELL that I have been through since then, I have changed to some extent, so I am NOT as bad off in that department as I was back then. (Thank Krsna there has been SOME improvement.) I will take the liberty to provide some answer by referring to a few verses and Srila Prabhupada's purports in the Srimad Bhagavatam with reference to Draupadi and her reactions when Asvattama was brought before her after he had MURDERED Draupadi Mataji's FIVE SLEEPING sons. SB verse 1.7.42 explains, "Due to her female nature...Draupadi showed him due respects as a brahmana," (and he MURDERED her five sons in their sleep). Somehow - I feel it is due to my female nature - I STILL felt a sense of respect for BT Swami, DESPITE his STEALING my Deities' laksmi, my laksmi, and his broken promises. Srila Prabhupada in that SB 1.7.42 purport says, "Draupadi...could not withdraw the due respect generally offered to a brahmana...This is due to her mild nature as a woman. Women as a class are not better than boys and therefore they have no discriminatory power like that of a man...and yet a mild woman could not withdraw her natural courtesy for a brahmana...A good man or woman accepts anything very easily...We should not follow the mild nature of a woman and thereby accept that which is not genuine." The SB 1.7.43 verse says, "She could not tolerate Asvatthama's being bound by ropes and being a devoted lady she said, 'Release him, for he is a brahmana, our spiritual master.'" (Just see how Draupadi, DESPITE Asvatthama's MURDERING her FIVE SLEEPING sons, was SEEING him as "a brahmana," "a spiritual master.") In his purport to that verse Srila Prabhupada says, "As soon as Asvatthama was brought before Draupadi, she thought it intolerable that a brahmana should be arrested like a culprit...but to a good lady like Draupadi, the matter was considered not from the angle of sastric vision, but a matter of custom...by sentiment only." This example in the SB may give men a better understanding of the psychology of a woman's heart, and why it is that women "work" the way that we often do, (and why it is that our nature often gets us into difficulty). Why would I TRUST BTS, go to serve under him again, and even send him the laksmi for the ticket which he told me to send to him? Again, my MAIN reason was because I felt THAT MUCH of a sense of DUTY to Srila Prabhupada. I think the womanly weakness got mixed in with it as well. Why did I believe that BTS would get me a proper ticket DESPITE my SO MANY EXPERIENCES of his DISHONEST behavior in the past? Again, I would have to attribute it to my womanly nature. I just did not think that he was going to cheat me AGAIN. Atmavan manyate jagat: One relates to others from the platform from which one himself comes. Since I am not a cheater I do not think of others in that way, EVEN with those persons who have already proved themselves to be cheaters. I just figured that BTS had changed.) I really thought that I would just go for six weeks, deal with the problem, get it corrected, get Srila Prabhupada's temple back to standard, and then go on to India as planned. I guess I just could not imagine how BT Swami could cheat me anymore after all of the insanity that he put me through, the fact that he knew how much I had suffered under him in the past, and now AGAIN under Kirtanananda. (BTS also KNEW that ALL of my Deities' paraphernalia had been stolen while I was in Africa and that I wanted to go to India to replace my four MAIN Deities' asanas.) So I could NOT imagine that he could possibly do anything like what he had done before. I also believe that a person can change no matter HOW horrible s/he has been before. (Again, that can also be partly due to my motherly nature. No matter how bad a child has been, his mother always gives the child credit that he can and will change. I also think in this way, (and sadly, because of that thinking, SO MANY TIMES, I have gotten cheated by people due to this VERY reason. One may ask, "Does a leopard change it's spots, a tiger it's stripes?" But human beings are not leopards or tigers.) So as to EXACTLY WHY I did not stick to the vow that I had made to myself, (to NEVER serve under BTS EVER again), and WHY I sent BTS the $7000 he told me to send him, I do not know why I got suckered in by his pleading words other than the reasons that I have given. MAINLY, I felt it was my DUTY to Srila Prabhupada to go - as BTS said - "to take care of the problems there." (Just as a side note, BTS IS VERY EXPERT at convincing people to do EXACTLY what it is he wants them to do for him. He went to Princeton where he took political science, psychology, parapsychology, occultism, and sociology. He reads many books on, and is expert in mind control techniques. He has also worked in the Pentagon as the "Spiritual Advisor" while a devotee.) I sent the laksmi to BTS. (BTS was SUPPOSED to get me a YEAR-ROUND ticket routed from, NYC-Abidjan-Accra to Delhi-NYC). I later met him and Umapati Swami in NYC, where we all left for Ivory Coast. I was left in Ivory Coast while BTS and Umapati Swami traveled to several other West African countries. BTS returned to USA and Umapati Maharaj returned to Ivory Coast. One day while taking breakfast prasadam, Umapati S and I were talking. Somehow the subject of my going on to India came up. Umapati Maharaj then said, "You're not going to India. You're not going anywhere. Your ticket is no good. It is already expired. It was only a two-week ticket." I told Umapati M that he was wrong, and explained that I had a year-round ticket which was routed to Delhi. Umapati M laughed and insisted that I was the one who was wrong. Again I disagreed with him. UM told me to get my ticket and bring it to him. (BTS had shown the tickets to Umapati Swami while they were waiting for me to come to the airport. BTS had had the ticket sent directly to him, so I never even got the ticket in my hand until AFTER we were seated on the airplane. BTS also KNEW that due to the head injuries I had sustained, I was NOT able to read an airplane ticket - I can't tell the trees from the forest. In other words, there is too much information on a plane ticket for my brain to process it properly.) I brought the ticket to Umapati M, who then confirmed that the ticket was just as he had said, a two-week ticket, (now already expired). BTS had LIED to me and PURPOSELY got me the WRONG ticket. He took $3000 from me which he told me to send to him for a "year-round ticket" going from NYC to Abidjan-Accra-Delhi-NYC, but instead BTS got me ONLY a TWO-WEEK ticket from NYC to Abidjan to NYC at $756. Yes folks, that was $756, which means that BTS STOLE the REST of that laksmi, amounting to $2244. Just to make it very clear, BTS STOLE TWO THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR DOLLARS. (And I was DOING HIM a FAVOR. This "leopard" and/or "tiger" had NOT changed his spots.) I was shocked, (or should I say, "BLOWN OUT"), and hurt; I was devastated. 1987 - Ghana: There were multiple problems in Accra temple due to certain senior Kirtanananda Swami disciples not wanting to accept any authority over them including that of BT Swami. They had stopped going to all of the temple programs and would do no service for the temple. They were just trying to use the temple for their own purposes - free living. They were also breaking the principles. I was sent there by BTS to "clean up ship," (shop? - what have you. As you like, use whichever wording you prefer; I was supposed to make the shop shipshape). In this case, the light handed approach, (trying to preach to these senior male devotees, who at this point in time did NOT care about Krsna consciousness but ONLY their OWN material agenda), was NOT to work; thus I had to get heavy. One day during SB class I went up to the men's ashram, where most of the senior men were just hanging around and doing their "thing." I announced, "All of you had better get down to SB class right now. Either you come to the AM programs and act like devotees or you will have to get out of the temple." Somehow it worked, but these devotees DEFINITELY felt resentment for the fact that I would not allow them to continue on with their own program, and the air was tense from that point on. I wrote to BTS keeping him informed of the situation. I asked him to send the devotees a written statement explaining that he, BTS, had sent me to Accra to see that the standards that Srila Prabhupada had set for temple life were being followed by the devotees, and that what I was doing with regard to straightening up the situation was being done under HIS instruction. I got NO response to this letter, nor did I get ANY OTHER response to ANY of the other letters I sent to BTS in this regard. The tension increased as I tried to get these devotees to follow a standard that was expected of someone living in the temple, (especially a senior devotee), but these senior devotees did NOT want to live their lives in that way. They simply wanted to do what THEY wanted to do and they wanted the temple to supply their material needs. The tension increasingly mounted. Some of these senior men tried to create hostility towards me from other devotees by telling other K Swami disciples that I "favored BTS over Srila Bhaktipada." This tactic was very effective and created further tension, especially because Africa by nature IS so tribally oriented. (The fact that I would NOT publicly endorse "Srila Bhaktipada" as THE "next acarya" also added to the tension.) I continued to write BTS to inform him of the situation, and for the Xth time asked him to please write a letter of support stating to the devotees the reason WHY he had sent me there and what it was that HE as GBC wanted me to accomplish. I got NOTHING - no response to this, or to ANY of my letters to BTS. One of the senior ladies, who was a practitioner of juju, (African voodoo), had three animal heads in her closet. (Yup, that's right folks. I ain't lyin'. This kind of stuff goes on in Africa, even in our temples. At least it was going on back then.) She was also having illicit sex with some of the senior men. Only if BTS gave me his permission would I be able to do something about the situation, (in terms of telling devotees to leave), but otherwise not - especially in this mataji's case. She was married to BTS's regional secretary of Ghana, who was a VERY WONDERFUL devotee, but he was completely controlled by his wife. He was also totally UNaware of her activities, (although everyone else knew. "Love" is blind.) That mata also wanted me out of Ghana due to her feeling very much threatened by my presence because she knew that I was fully aware of her improper activities. Good ole Mata R combined forces with some of the other senior men and they tried to come up with different plans to get me out. Mainly this consisted of lying to the younger devotees, saying that I had come to Ghana on my own and that BTS had NOT sent me. "If BTS had sent her, he would have sent a letter or come with her himself and told us that he wanted her here." I STILL wrote to BTS to tell him of the ongoing "events" and asked that he send a letter to make things clear, but (as usual), BTS sent NOTHING. I should make clear at this point that the Reg. Secretary and the TVP DID support EVERYTHING that I was doing. They KNEW that BTS had sent me and that I was NOT acting of my own accord. They TRIED to uphold what I was doing, but they themselves were experiencing so much difficulty from their Godbrothers, the other senior men who were trying to act independently. (That was why BTS sent me there, because the Regional Secretary and VTP were having such difficulty with these devotees.) When Kirtanananda started to give sannyas to women, the word hit Ghana. Mata R, who had visited the USA some years before, then tried to generate hostility towards me by lying to the devotees, telling them that I was a "fake." She told devotees, "In USA she wears colored saris and keeps long hair. Only when she comes to Africa she pretends to be a renounced woman. The only renounced women are Srila Bhaktipada's women who have taken sannyas from him." With tension increasing and this new "feature" added, I sent another letter out to BTS asking him to clarify all of this. But as was usual, BTS would NOT even address this matter. As more devotees became convinced by Mother R's lies, I again wrote to BTS asking him to inform the devotees that I had been shaved up since 1973 and that Srila Prabhupada had approved of my being shaved up. I also asked him to explain that Srila Bhaktipada's giving sannyas to women was something new, and that it was never done in our sampradaya before. I told BTS how intense the situation was becoming. I explained that if he did not write a letter confirming this, and the fact that he himself had sent me there, and for what reason, that practically speaking, I would no longer be able to continue to do the service that he had sent me there and asked me to do. BTS wrote NOTHING. I began to have my suspicions about BTS's managerial tactics, and later in Nigeria I found out that I was right: BTS would give me instructions with regard to performing a specific service, and either he would NOT give ANY form of support, or WORSE, he would tell the devotees that he did not know why I was doing as I was doing. (I assume he did this to protect himself and to stay "hidden" in the background. In other words, he wanted something specific to be accomplished, but he did NOT want the devotees to know that it was he who was BEHIND it all. Thus, BTS would give me a specific instruction which he wanted carried out, but he would tell the devotees that he had "NO idea WHY I was doing it." In Africa this kind of tactic can literally get a person killed, and it almost did with me. At one point when I directly questioned BTS about this tactic, "You know, you just may get me killed here," BTS answered, "Better you than me." Believe it or not, although that sounds like a really heavy response, I took it in a Krsna conscious way. I took it to mean, "Better they kill the Godsister of their guru than their own guru." In other words technically it is less offensive for a disciple to kill his guru's Godsibling than for that disciple to kill his own guru. Sounds heavy? It is. (Africa can be pretty heavy at times. Go and stay there for some time, and you will find out.) The situation in Accra finally reached its height when the TP in Accra wanted to make a management decision which was directly opposed to a decision that BTS had instituted. I told the TP that he could NOT make that decision unless he got BTS's approval. (The TP KNEW that I was right, and his VTP and Regional Secretary confirmed what I said.) The TP, his ego "hurt" and his feeling very angry that my words overrode his desired decision, (he was also VERY MUCH under the influence of Mata R), the next day he gave the SB class, and I WAS THE SUBJECT of the class, NOT KRSNA. The TP spoke in class about how Mother R went to USA and "saw" me there "with long hair, wearing beautiful colored silk saris." (Guess I must have looked like a beauty queen.) His class continued, "She has now come again to Accra as she came some years ago, and she is pretending to dress as a renounced woman but this is all a fake. The only 'BONAFIDE' female renunciates are Srila Bhaktipada's sanyasinis." The TP continued on, "Since she is 'a pretender,' she HAS TO GIVE UP HER FALSE DRESS." The TP then DEMANDED in that SB class that I "IMMEDIATELY GIVE UP MY CLOTHING." Nasty as it was, it had come to this, and due to the nature of the situation, I "agreed" to give up my saffron clothing IN EXCHANGE for other saris, etc. With the EXCEPTION of A SLIP and A TOWEL, ALL of my clothes were taken from me, and I was NOT given ANY OTHER clothing. I was angry NOT even so much with the TP but mainly with BTS. If BTS had, at ANY point, WRITTEN a letter to the devotees making it CLEAR that HE had sent me to Accra, Ghana, and WHY, and had made CLEAR ALL of the other points which came up, I WOULD have been able to do my service EFFECTIVELY, the service THAT BTS SENT me to do. But BTS wrote NOTHING, and thus the fiasco. I had been in Ghana for six months and BTS had given me NO support, yet it was HE who wanted me to clean up the mess there. (Sadly, this was a TYPICAL TACTIC of BTS, which I was later to find confirmed through MANY other instances.) After the "SB class," the Regional Secretary and VTP went to the TP. They begged him to apologize to me and give me back my clothing. They cautioned the TP that he might have to suffer some heavy reaction for his actions, but the TP would not change anything. Left with ONLY a TOWEL AND A SLIP, I obviously did not attend Mangal Arotike the next morning, nor did I go to attend Guru-puja. Shortly after Guru-puja started, one devotee knocked on the door to the women's ashram. It was 18 year-old Bhakta William. "Madam, Gopal said I should tell you to come to Guru-puja." I replied, "Prabhu, you tell G prabhu that I can not come before my Guru Maharaj dressed in only a slip and towel. He will have to give me a sari." Bhakta William returned, but this time shaking. He KNEW he was being sent to do something VERY WRONG, and he could BARELY get the words out of his mouth: "Gopal de tell me, 'You de come or I de bring,'" broken English for "Either you come or I will have to bring you." (I almost felt that this was a partial "replay" of Pratakamya coming to get Draupadi, and I was QUITE upset about it although at the same time, I felt badly for G that he was being THAT stupid.) I walked into the temple room IN MY SLIP AND TOWEL with arms crossed over my chest and looked around at ALL of the devotees. I then looked at Srila Prabhupada, (in his murti form), went up and offered flowers telling Srila Prabhupada that I was sorry for appearing before him in this manner, and I asked his forgiveness. I went back to where I was standing, and looking at Srila Prabhupada, I decided RIGHT THEN AND THERE, that I was NOT going to stay one more day in that temple. I left immediately after Guru-puja and went to the Ivory Coast embassy where I was given a visa right then and there. I also went to the Nigerian embassy and got a visa right then and there as well. (Practically speaking, it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a visa in one day for any African country from its embassy in another African country, but Krsna arranged it.) And the NEXT day, I left the Accra temple. Before I left, the TP's wife came to me, crying and begging me to forgive her husband. I told her not to worry about it, that I did not take what happened so seriously, but I felt it best to leave. She begged me to take the NEW, (never worn), sari that her husband had given to her, but I wouldn't. (I couldn't. At that time, it was so difficult for the Ghanian devotees to get things like new saris, etc. Thus there was no way that I would accept such a treasured gift from this mataji.) She kept insisting that I take her sari, and she kept apologizing for her husband's acts. I just laughed and told her that I could always get another cloth, and that what had happened was not a big deal. (Hey, things like this can practically be "expected" when serving in Africa under BTS.) Hugging this mataji who I had great affection for - I had preached to her so many years back, and she joined the temple then - I told her that Gopal, (the TP), was like my son, and thus how could I take his actions so seriously? She begged me to forgive him, and I told her that I did. I then left Ghana, and went to Ivory Coast feeling very badly that G's wife had been made to become so upset by what happened. (I was told some time later, that immediately after this incident, Gopal became very sick and left the temple.) 1988 - Ivory Coast: I arrived in Ivory Coast during Guru-puja in my bizarre "costume," (the slip and towel), and lo and behold, Umapati Maharaj was sitting on the Vyasasana. (I was shocked to find Umapati Maharaj sitting on the Vyasasana because at that time, Umapati Maharaj was not an ISKCON guru. And as shocked as I was to see Umapati S sitting on the Vyasasana, he was just as shocked to see me in my "new duds" as well. He later gave me the curtains from the windows in his room and I made myself an "outfit" from them until I was able to get myself something more "appropriate," ie - Vaisnava style - to wear.) After class I went up to Umapati M and asked, "What is going on? Why are you sitting on the Vyasasana...?" Umapati M explained that BTS had told him to do that and gave him the reasons why he should. (To this day, I believe U Swami's version, DESPITE BTS's having a VERY DIFFERENT tale to tell.) KNOWING by this time BTS's ways of doing or not doing things, I KNEW that there was DEFINITELY going to be trouble. (AND SURE ENOUGH, THERE WAS - PLENTY of it.) I told UM, "Well, no matter what happens, I will support you. That way the devotees will think that it's bonafide, and if there is going to be any trouble, at least if I give you my support, that will hold it off for some time." To make it REALLY short, there WAS trouble - A LOT of trouble. It arose from the combination of the Ivory Coast TP's being a very ambitious person, (his wanting Umapati Swami out of Ivory Coast so that he could have complete charge of the temple), and BT Swami's telling devotees in Nigeria some false things about Umapati Maharaj. (When I went to Nigeria, I found out what was being said. This will be related below.) These things got back to the devotees in Ivory Coast, as the TP of Ivory Coast made frequent trips to Nigeria to see his guru, BTS, and BTS would tell him these things about Umapati Maharaj as well. The TP would in turn relate these things to the Ivory Coast devotees and this would agitate their minds against Maharaj. Some other devotees from Nigeria were sent by BTS to pass through Ivory Coast, and they also spoke to the Ivory Coast devotees and caused agitation. Things became so bad that Umapati Swami and I COULD have gotten killed in such a situation, and ALMOST did. (But we didn't. That is why I am here to tell the story. Isn't that funny?) All the while that there were these problems in Ivory Coast which continued to escalate, I was writing a letter EVERY DAY, to BTS in Nigeria, telling him what was going on. (I wrote something to him every day because the situation was THAT intense.) I explained what was happening, and told him that his presence was necessary to stabilize things. I explained that the situation was getting progressively worse, and that things were so bad that Umapati Swami and I might get killed. After two months of letters, some which were HAND DELIVERED to BTS, BTS NEVER came. INSTEAD, BTS left Nigeria and went back to USA. (I was in Ivory Coast this time, for three months.) Umapati Maharaj ended up having to get "rescued" by Kirtanananda who sent him a ticket to New Vrndavan. I left the temple after one of the devotees came at me with a cleaver. (A cleaver is one of those big knives which is used in many kitchens. To this day, I STILL do NOT like them because of that incident). I believe it must have been Krsna Who changed that boy's mind, because after his holding the knife to my face, he just dropped it, and kept punching me in the mouth, full force. (Krsna MUST have intervened, because although this boy was hitting me FULL FORCE, those punches felt like slaps, and I being so amazed that they were not hurting me like they SHOULD have, I just broke into laughter. It was sort of funny; that boy punching and punching, full force, those punches like tapslaps.) I then went to tell Umapati Maharaj what happened, but I did NOT tell him about the knife. I also did NOT tell him the reason WHY the incident happened. I knew that Umapati M was already in such anxiety due to the existing situation - Welcome to ISKCON Africa! - that I did not want to cause him to become more upset than was necessary. Umapati Swami was just waiting for his ticket to come so that he could get out of there. (I had come into the kitchen to make sure that it was clean. When I found a bowl of meat hidden in one of the cabinets, I then asked the boy in charge of the kitchen if he knew anything about it. It was then that he picked up the knife and came at me with it.) When I told Umapati Maharaj what happened, he became pretty unsettled. We decided that I would go to stay with one African life member who lived right near the temple. I then left and stayed with the life member until I knew for sure that Umapati M had gotten his ticket out of Ivory Coast. (I knew that as long as I was present, no one would try to kill him, that there would be a witness. Thus, from the very beginning, although I knew that there would be trouble, I figured that if we were both there together, at least it could not go to extremes.) It was while staying at the life member's house that I finally got an answer to one of my questions: Why it was that there were no more women in the Ivory Coast temple when I came the second time. (When I had first come, there were no women in the temple. Between Umapati Maharaj's and my preaching, three women had moved in and stayed for some time, but when I returned to Ivory Coast six months later, they were gone.) While at the life member's house, he and his wife, who had befriended all of the ladies who had moved into the temple, told me that the TP of Ivory Coast had sexually attacked ALL of these women. The TP had forced them into different sexual activities with him, and they had fled the temple. All of them had, at different times, come to take shelter in their home until they could find themselves apartments. I knew from the Ivory Coast TP's character that this was NOT being fabricated but it was true. (When I went to Nigeria, I found out some interesting information about him: The TP of Ivory Coast, originally a citizen of Nigeria, joined the movement because he was wanted by the Nigerian police for his sexual crimes. (Seems that some people move into ISKCON temples to hide out from the police. Remember the TP in Mombassa? And I will add, if someone is wanted by the Nigerian police for sex crimes, they HAVE to be pretty bad.) Umapati Maharaj and I both left Ivory Coast, UM to New Vrndavan, I to Nigeria. It was in Nigeria that I found out the MAIN reasons for the problems that Umapati M and I encountered in Ivory Coast. When I first came to Nigeria, the leading devotees there asked me all kinds of questions about Umapati Maharaj. They asked me if it was true that he was sitting on the Vyasasana and I told them yes. They then explained that BTS had told them that UM was sitting on the Vyasasana in Ivory Coast "because he is envious of me." ("Me," meaning BTS.) Well, THAT explained the reason for ALL of the problems. It also explained the reason why BTS did not answer ANY of my letters to him that I sent him from Ivory Coast, and why he left Nigeria and returned to USA as opposed to his coming to Ivory Coast to take care of the situation there. I found out FOR SURE, that BTS HAD BEEN GETTING ALL OF THE LETTERS I sent to him from Ivory Coast - those that were hand delivered to him, as well as those that were sent in the mail. (At this point here, although I will not get into it in this submission - I don't think it necessary - I feel that I should explain that between ALL of my personal experiences serving under BTS, his various conversations with me, and numerous other factors, I realized a certain behavioral pattern in him, (which I felt was NOT good), which explains why he did as he did. I had even tried to address these issues with BTS at those times when he would come to confide in me certain things he felt. Thus, I have always believed Umapati Maharaja's version: that BTS told him to sit on the Vyasasana.) End of Part THREE: (To be continued.) I remain your servant, Mahavegavati Dasi Hare Krsna About the Author  Other Stories by this AuthorComment on this story Contact VNN about this storySend this story to a friend
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