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03/21/98 - 1706
Making it Home
(VNN) - by Gaurahari das
Since I started posting my realizations or truth on the internet,
I have been receiving varieties of emotional-based responses,
that I clearly could see were hiding themselves as wrapped very
nicely in form of sastric quotations. My postings generally cause
people to feel many feelings, sometimes comfortable and sometimes
uncomfortable. Many are not aware or able to acknowledge that
I am touching a taboo or guarded part of their being that few
people in material or spiritual societies want to get in touch
with. I have been cultivating my Krishna consciousness for many
years and side by side doing a lot of emotional clearing work
at the same time. This has transformed me into this kind of thorn
in the side personality, who naturally brings out the hidden devil
or the good side in others. My unusual and fearsome talent is
my ability to make devotees who are generally very nice and respectable
to others, get in touch with and express a shadowy side that wants
to judge, hate, express anger, or love towards me. This naturally
takes place when I express with abandon my truthful realizations
that relate to my spiritual journey. I feel that this seemingly
upsetting or unconfortable situation is ultimately important work
for us all in getting our energy clear enough so that Krishna's
love can awaken within our hearts. It is always necessary for
the Supreme Lord to send controversial polarizing beings, who
are beyond the jurisdiction of fear of public opinion to help
expose the illusions and reveal the specific vision of the truth
that the Supreme Lord is sharing personally with them to help
benefit others. That is why Lord Jesus Christ expressed the nature
of such uncommon personalities by saying it in a very nice way.
?Only the father (God) knows the son (the enlightened person),
and only the son knows the father", and others who are not yet
enlightened can know God through the mercy of such a son. This
is the true version of a disciple succession, simply put that
can be applied to the Vedic tradition as well. This is the state
of consciousness of a genuine God-Realized soul. Very few beings
in the world are qualified to accept or confirm their realizations,
because such unenlightened beings do not yet have an affinity
with that spiritual level of consciousness. The few who are willing
to listen and sincerely apply their many times revolutionary teachings
based of personally grappling with and overcomming the forces
of Maya, very quickly make it though to the kingdom of God.
There was a similar situation when Lord Caitanya descended to
this planet. He revealed pastimes and activities that were never
seen or understood, even by the personified Veda's. One of Gauranga's
new converts, a disciple of Prakasananda Saraswati, mentioned
that even though they obviously could not fully understand Lord
Caitanya and His uncommon realizations they accepted them because
they resulted in feeling great happiness in the heart, whereas
hearing conclusions from the dry pandits and mental speculators
who had not reached the level of pure love for God, resulted in
mental distress. My personal emotional clearing transformational
work and traditional application of Vaishnava Bhakti yoga principals
has helped me pioneer a path, based on tradition but adapted for
our modern situation for us Westerners. The results for others,
who are beginning to take up this integrative path, have been
more amazing than I could have ever imagined. I am having trouble
convincing many devotees who still have some fear of letting go
of the safe but dry foundation of strict confines of previously
built religious traditions. Even those traditions were at one
time considered revolutionary. Progressive spiritual life has
to be one of continues expansion spearheaded by brave souls who
make it through the illusion into the lap of the Supreme Father
of all. Srila Prabhupada said in a purport in Srimad Bhagavatam,
The bhakti yoga process is meant to be a dynamic one. In my own
experience now, I know if one stays too much confined to the safety
of a previous built structure of certain rules and regulations,
that were generated and adapted for a certain previous time and
place, it may have an opposite effect of being a cause of frustration
and hypocrisy. For example, I experienced personal frustration
on the spiritual path for many years by trying to completely restrict
my own natural sex impulses, simply because I was in the brahmachari
ashram. By strict interpretation of the Veda's I was not to allowed
to to suffer the sinful release of bodily fluids because I would
be drained of my brains. When I became honest with myself and
now with others as I am demonstrating here, I found that I could
honor my natural needs without the fear of being punished by God.
When I began to face the guilt of the truth that I could not measure
up to the book of Vedic rules perfectly and I began to honor my
needs accordingly, I found my service to Krishna actually increased
to my great happiness. People can fall prey to the trap of repression
or hypocrisy on the spiritual path, fooling themselves and others,
by living too much for the unrealistic exceptions of others and
by too strict adherence to the Vedic tradition when it creates
fustration in attaining ones honest personal needs.
There are so many illusions in this regard. One relevent one that
comes to mind is that a person can not experience love of Krishna,
or deliver others by being a Guru if they still experience the
sex impulse. Well, the funny truthful thing is that I still have
the sex impulse and I am a Spiritual Master and my disciples are
experiencing symptoms of Love of God. This is the reality that
is going on here. Can this so called unique example be backed
up by the sastras? Yes, it most emphatically can, but if one is
still functioning on the level of repression or hypocrisy, one
will not be able to accept what is plainly evident. I pointed
out this misconception in one of my previous essays of the examples
in Krishna book. The eternally liberated soul Aniruddha, the grandson
and great devotee of Krishna, engaged in a repeated sexual affair
for months with Usa, without the sanction of marriage. Once that
we know about Arjuna had a one night stand with the daughter of
the water god. This is proof that it is possible to still have
the sex impulse and have a deep profound love for Krishna at the
same time. These examples are proof of the potency of love of
Krishna to give one all personal protection from sinful reactions.
If one were to try to imitate the behavior of those who exclusively
love God, without the protection of this pure love awakened in
his heart, one may have to suffer by getting too engrossed in
spending their valuable time on meditating and bonding with the
temporary material body of the opposite sex. That is why such
Vedic or Biblical rules of thumb need to exist, but these rigid
rules generally have to be adjusted to a specific person's situation
and body type within the modes of nature. A person who has experienced
profound love for God will never be able to get too absorbed or
obsessed with any of the objects of sensory pleasure, even though
he may still retain the natural bodily impulses while he still
remains within the physical body. Many spiritual leaders at this
time are generally afraid and not qualified to look at the sensitive
subjects of sexuality for themselves, as well as for their disciples
out of fear of being unpopular in the eyes of the world. It is
easier to resort to repression and pull out the straitforward
and unyielding Vedic rule book for a seemingly simple, but many
times frustrating answer. In these times it is obvious to me that
sincere devotees on the spiritual path need help in these sensitive
areas.
Finding a highly elevated bonafide Spiritual Master who can guide
a bewildered conditioned soul properly out of the maze of illusion,
may not always manifest from the renounced order of life. This
was one of the misconceptions that Lord Caitanya's pastimes were
meant to dispel. Some of Lord Caitanya's intimate personal associates
were extremely renounced and some were found on the opposite end
of the spectrum of the Avadhuta category like Nityananda and many
of His followers, who did not care to follow any rules and regulations.
To harbor the misconception that only a sannyasi in the renounced
order of life can be qualified to receive or share this precious
love of God with others, will naturally block one's loss of a
golden opportunity if such pure devotion manifests within a person
who is engaged according to some other spiritual or material
occupation. In Kali Yuga, many monkey-like pretenders take to
this renounced order prematurely most of the time, with impure
ulterior motives. According to Lord Caitanya, It is the genuine
symptoms of Love of God before everything else, that qualifies
one to be a bonafide Guru as He simply stated in the following
verse, ?Yes, it is correct. One who awakens devotion to Krsna
is certainly a Spiritual Master. (C.C. Madhya 15.117) Krishna
many times works in very funny and mysterious ways. He is not
obligated to spread His sankirtan movement of devotional ecstasy
through any certain class of beings who belong to a certain caste,
country, or province. ?To defeat the pride of so called renunciants
and learned scholars, He spreads real religious principals even
through a sudra or low born forth class man.”
( C.C. Anthya 5.84) Sometimes Love of Krishna will be distributed
through a first class human being and sometimes it may be distributed
through a seemingly misbehaved fool, who is rejected by Vedic
society, but is endowed with the powerful love of the gopis.
Such extremely rare individuals may not care a fig for following
the regulative principals that just restricts their intense behavior,
when they are engaged in wild singing, dancing, and poetic expressions
in glorification of their most beloved Lord. Should we refuse
the gift of pure devotional service if it is offered from a seemingly
unclean plate? Is it not the same pure love after all? In order
to get through to the transcendental plane of spiritual consciousness,
a courageous spiritual pioneer has to purify and release the human
emotional layer of unacknowledged and unintergrated feelings.
This is a layer of the false ego that has to be purified at some
point in our spiritual development. This is a big step in the
spiritual evolution of those who want to develop spiritual taste
and get the awakening of the Lord in the heart. The Vedic rules
and Vaishnava etiquette is helpful to a certain point in our spiritual
development, but if one wants to make it to tasting the wonderful
blissful spiritual flavor of the holy name and pastimes of Krishna,
our consciouness has to be cleared and purified by a emotional
clearing process that faciltates and makes room for the birth
of spiritual Love.
The process of Bhakti Yoga that was introduced by Srila Prabhupada,
has to be further adapted to our specific needs here in the West.
This will probably come about by empowered beings who will probably
come from a Western cultural orientation. Any one who can make
it through the illusionary energy to the platform of tasting
devotional mellow exchanges with God is naturally an expert guide
for others, especial if they come from the same cultural conditioning.
Westerners must certainly integrate this feeling clearing work,
because without it, making it to the level of spiritual taste
is next to impossible. I have personal experience with this. Here
at Temple of The Heart I encourage my students to forgo much of
holding their true feelings back, in the name of the etiquette
of being nice, superficially loving, in order to release and purify
this unconscious often devilish emotional energy once and for
all. Everyone of us has been unconsciously storing these repressed
energies in our bodies for God knows how many lifetimes. In the
New Testament they have called this process of emotional clearing,
casting out devils. This is exactly what it looks like when I
am flushing out my students repressed shadow like energies and
feelings into the open.
If our soul takes birth in the material universe, there is a part
of us that is naturally resistant to serving both God and His
genuine representatives. When we are serious about transcending
the influence of maintaining this dualistic nature of one part
loving God and one part that desires and loves the forms within
this material world, we will have to do this kind of release work.
Unless a soul is released from attachment to the false self it
cannot serve the Supreme Lord one hundred percent of the time
without reservation and in spiritual bliss. This is what Christ
meant when he said, You cannot serve to masters. You either hate
one or love the other.‰ A some point in its evolution a soul
has to become disgusted with being a servant of Maya and sincerely
want to be released from her Grip. This repreive can only be accomplished
by service and surender to a empowered God-Realized soul who acts
as the warden for the prison of Maya. He can release anyone who
recognizes his authority and is willing to make a life long commitment
of undergoing the nessary purification process that he recommends.
When such a soul manifests in this world it is a golden oportunity
for those who are fortuante to believe in his God inspired teachings.
A fortunate soul gains the association of a representative of
God who carries the Supreme Lord's spiritual potency. Association
and service to such a rare personality plows the field of our
consciousness, and makes room for a revolutionary spiritual rebirth
to take place. This is the meaning of Christs teaching that ?One
cannot place new wine in old vessels because it will burst. The
old vessel of our consciousness has to be purged of many stored
up impious and even pious material energies. These material energies
are blocking this revolutionary spiritual awaking of Supreme Lords
presence in our hearts.
If one does not undertake this important spiritual preparatory
work, one will only be able to relate to life, people, the holy
scriptures, and God on a superficial or sentimental level. One
will only be able to perceive life on a dualistic level and at
best in the mode of Goodness. The verse in Bhagavad-Gita will
still apply to them, ?One who's mind is many branched the determination
to do devotional service will not take place.‰ The phenomenon
of hypocrisy and repression is natural for souls who are trying
to serve God and who still are unable to gain release and purify
their subtle and gross material desires . This material side is
so strong in many people that they naturally devise many means
to hide this materialistic side of themselves, in order to pretend
that they are highly spiritual. This dualistic hypocritical mentality
has always been like a plague in many spiritual institutions.
Confronting the devil or Maya in oneself is undoubtedly advanced
work and should only be undertaken under the guidence of a rare
expert personality who has gone through the process himself.
The major break through I began to make on the path of reconciling
my own opposing nature, was allowing these unacknowledged parts
of myself to arise in my consciousness and face them. This is
the path that leads to self honesty. Only when we are honest with
our own selves can we begin to be honest with others. If we have
material desires, attachments and ambitions, we have to become
strong enough to first admit them to ourselves and then eventually
to others. I have discovered that by gaining increasing clarity
about what is honestly going on in my own head and expressing
such things, my spiritual connection is accelerated. My spiritual
experiences began to happen more frequently because less obstructions
were in the way. Doing this important preliminary work of gaining
an honest perspective of one's hidden or shadow self of the false
ego, would probably be difficult or next to impossible on one's
own. I did not ever have a living Guru to help. What helped me
scrape through the dense forest of these bewildering mundane energies
of Maya was my natural abilty to relish spiritual loving ecstacy
from reading devotional litratures about God. Over the years the
more I have tasted this imortalizing nectar the more the illusion
has disapated for me. Many neophyte devotees imagine that when
you begin tasting devotional mellows you are finished with all
material desires and attachments. This is not generally true.
The more one tastes the nectar of loving God the more one's accumlated
attachements over many lifetimes gradually dimish. Now I have
the good fortune to share with my students what I have discovered
on my spiritual journey and they are also begining to taste this
devotional nectar and this makes me feel very satisfied. Not
many people come into this world with this unique capacity to
experience true devotioal bhakti energies. Therefore to get through
Maya without guidence of a an experienced Guru will be next to
imposible.
Attaining and maintaining this level of self honesty has been
very important for me in order to gain a clear balanced approach
to spiritual life. It has been an important aspect in my emerging
creativity and spiritual connection and relationship with God.
I have naturally become a polarizing and controversial personality.
This will also naturally happen to everyone who undertakes this
level of the genuine Bhakti path. Many people who begin the spiritual
path live under the temporal shelter of the mind's speculations,
and find solace and shelter in the forms of this world. A person,
who by good fortune reaches the spiritual plane of experiencing
the kingdom of God while in this world, has no other shelter but
the Absolute Eternal Truth. There are three solid foundation evolutionary
stages I have identified in reaching the Absolute Plane of Reality.
The first two can be cultivated side by side preferably. The last
one is reserved for those who have transcended material duality
and are immersed in the spiritual duality of spiritual loving
exchanges with God and His associates.
The first two are important ones to be dealt with now, because
the latter stage develops naturally in due course of time. The
first two stages ideally begins with acceptance of a bonafide
Guru, who has overcome the world by being firmly situated in the
latter stage of spiritual transcendence. Without the shelter of
such a rare personality one cannot make much tangible spiritual
advancement. Lord Caitanya said that if a Spiritual Master is
not engaged in pure devotional service, he cannot purify himself,
much less others. A perfect Guru helps us by instructing us in
the Vedic knowledge and engages us in specialized spiritual sadhana
practices. He points out what is favorable and what is unfavorable
for cultivating spiritual life. He also acts a perfect mirror
to help us get clear on what false ego centered illusions about
our own personal selves we are maintaining within our consciousness.
The Guru helps to gradually draw us out of denial about our true
motivations, desires, ambitions, and attachments. Without the
help of such a perfectly pure hearted honest Guru, we cannot attain
the basic platform of self- honesty, which is considered madhyam
adikari. Such a midway devotee understands his own honest level
of spiritual advancement, as well as the spiritual and material
position of others; therefore he can relate to each individual
person in this world appropriately. In order to attain the mid
level platform of devotional service practically, a sincere aspirant
on the spiritual path has to eventually accept the guidance of
a pure devotee, who is situated on the topmost level of loving
God in order to progress.
The basic problem, that every seeker of the Absolute Truth has,
is how to recognize a transcendental personality. If we are still
not clear about the misconceptions about spiritual life and material
illusions that are swimming around in our own heads, then if a
transcendental personality does show up before us in our lives,
we will naturally project our small-minded mundane consciousness
on him or her. This is obviously why genuine God-realized beings
are hard to find and then even harder to accept when they are
discovered. I read some wonderful statements by the God-realized
soul Gaura-kisora dasa Babaji. It was in a book about him in a
section called, ?The sharp words of a sadhu." He basically said
that weak beginners on the spiritual path are not able to tolerate
the sometimes stinging sharp, and truthful words of a genuine
God-realized soul. They are quick to be offended, many times criticizing
that great soul for not observing superficial etiquette, and leave
his association. Such beginners are prepared to go back into the
world of Maya and be kicked twice as hard by family, employers
and friends. Genuine advanced souls are so truthful that the false
ego naturally gets a good kick when you are in their presence.
When we are in the presence of a liberated soul, by their very
nature we will be purified by being forced to look at the true
state of our consciousness before such a purehearted clear mirror.
So few people in this world are prepared to honestly look at themselves.
This is why such rare beings usually stay alone or with just a
few brave souls, who are willing to live in the fire of purification
until the false ego is completely burnt away.
Sometimes empowered God-realized souls will challenge the consciousness
of the whole world, which is covered by varying degrees of illusion.
The majority of people who are attached to their misconceptions
about life, misunderstand his true selfless intentions when he
openly reveals the truth about the illusions in this world. Many
people are sometimes even prepared to kill the body of such a
compassionate soul, who exposes the truth about some long standing
illusions, binding the souls to this world of Maya. I sincerely
wish all of you brothers and sisters out their a safe journey
through this ocean of Maya. I pray that everyone whether they
are fools or intelligent gain the Shelter of the worthy boat of
attraction to the pastimes of Supreme Personality of Godhead.
May an eternal associate of the Supreme Lord become your captain
on this last leg of the journey, which fini shes once and for
all your material entanglement in this bewildering universe.
Written by the madman
Gaurahari das
Temple of The Heart
